becomingkate: (Default)
[personal profile] becomingkate
 I feel bad that I haven't kept up with my wicca stuff.  I have 16 e mails from about.com in my wicca folder in my e mail that I haven't read.  Apparently Imbolc is coming up and I have no idea what it represents.  Sigh.  I missed Yule, too, mostly because I also celebrate Christmas (in that food, family and presents kind of way) and I was so sick all through December that I couldn't even sit up to read my e mail most days and find out about Yule and prepare a celebration.

It didn't even occur to me to use wicca to try to get better.  Duh.  Candles, crystals, rituals, etc. all at my fingertips and I didn't even think of it.

My husband thinks I should ask for donations towards my crisis intervention training.  I don't think I should, because I'm capable of covering it on my own.  However we are spending more money on the cat these days-I had to take her to the vet this morning because she couldn't stand up-turns out she is anemic and we're not sure why, all of a sudden it dropped and she won't sit on the blanket I prepared for her but she presses up against the heater so close that her skin should be red hot.

Anyway, I spend what would be the total cost of my training on the cat this morning, so maybe I should be asking for donations.  I don't know.  I just, I don't know if I want to share my profile with my family and real life people right now, because I talk about depression and hopelessness and I don't even know if my family knows I deal with all that.  And of course my mother is sick and we don't need people worrying about me and my problems when my mother has cancer.  Then again, the whole point of me doing it is that I think it's important to talk to people and get the whole mental illness, depression and suicide issue out there and make it okay to talk about it.

Sigh.

Date: 2014-01-30 04:28 am (UTC)
seventhbard: photo of a plush unicorn on a dark background (Default)
From: [personal profile] seventhbard
*about a twillion hugs*

Yeah, sometimes I think about writing a memoir but worry what would happen if my family read it. "Why didn't you ever tell ME any of that it's like I don't even KNOW you we're your FAMILY OMG you need to stop thinking we're so meeeean when we're so nice to you whyyyy do you think we're EEEEEVUL?!" 1. I don't think you're evil and 2. I don't tell you stuff BECAUSE THIS. *facepalm*

So I get you times 3 billion re: I want these things to be okay and want to talk about them, and want to start that example by talking about mine, but uh, we live in the world we live in and disclosure risks-- WHAT DO???!!! D:

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