becomingkate: (Default)

I feel like this font is abnormally big. Maybe it will autocorrect when I post it.

Classes (oh, now the font is smaller, lol) are interesting. I think I have already talked about most of them. I was ready to cry in Astronomy. I just couldn't wrap my head around the concept of the star sky rotating and eclipses and such. One of our assignments is actually a blog where you can communicate with the professor. So for me, with a confrontation issue, that is fantastic. I wrote my blog and mentioned I was confused. He said sometimes it can take weeks to really understand it. And not to toot my own horn but I am kind of grasping the idea that I'm smarter than the average college student. So I have to be patient. It made me think about my son and how he expects to understand everything right away and that made me smile and relax a little. I hope that by keeping in touch with the instructor he'll go easy on me. I'm not doing so great on the quizzes and labs yet so I hope he sees I'm trying.

Speaking of my son, he didn't pack a lunch today and I am a mean mom and none of his friends like me. I laughed. "I don't care if 10-year-olds like me," I told him. We were trying to get out the door and he asked me to make a sandwich for him. I said no, you can make your own. He was all ready besides that and we technically had lots of time. It isn't my fault he lies in bed for half an hour when his alarm goes off and then wants me to make his sandwich so he can get to school 25 minutes early and play with his friends before class. Right? We had plenty of time for him to make a sandwich. I said, some kids your age already know how to make a whole hot meal and you can't make a PB&J?  So he thought he hurt my feelings by saying his friends don't like me. To be honest, it does make me sad because I wanted to be "that mom" that kids like. But oh well. I can't wait until he tries to tell someone besides his friends that his mom is mean because she won't make his lunch for him when he's 10 years old.

It's partially my fault. I should have been teaching him how to cook since he was old enough to stand up. But by the time I started, he wasn't interested. I take for granted that I'm a good cook. It doesn't occur to me that it might be hard for some people.

Our 13th anniversary was a few days ago. It went okay, except I had class in the morning and evening, and it was the day after my mom's memorial party finally happened, so I was pretty wiped out. My husband took our anniversary off, so we went out to lunch and that was nice. He got me a pair of citrine earrings which are pretty but I don't have much that matches them because they're orange and I don't tend to wear yellow or orange. I think I have some red tops somewhere. I got him some coasters in the design of The Maze from Westworld. He didn't recognize the pattern when he opened them, so I had to explain it. LOL.

Mom's party went well. I call it a party because it really was. It was just a gathering at a restaurant/function room with passed canapes and then a pasta station where they made a plate to order for you. And of course a bar. People brought photos and there were tables to sit at and talk and eat. My mom's side of the family has a wry, sometimes morbid sense of humor. They have no problem making little jabs at people. There were a lot of comments of things like "Well, she sure did know what she wanted," in other words she was opinionated and wasn't afraid to tell you if she thought your opinion was stupid. So there was a lot of humor, good food and some people I hadn't seen in decades. My son was good-natured, especially for not knowing 90% of the people there. My dad and his wife came, and I felt bad that I didn't get to talk to them hardly at all because I was pulled aside by so many people. It was successful overall though.

 

becomingkate: (Default)
Another great quote from ratemyprofessors.com: "If you don't pass this class you're a moran"

I had my first History class yesterday, we just went over the syllabus and then he let us go. It seems like it will be a fairly easy class. I am a bit worried about Astronomy on Monday, it's the only class I haven't been to yet this semester, and it just seems like a lot of work. I am also paranoid that I will miss something with my online class.

Tomorrow (oops, I mean Monday) I have English Lit again and I read the three stories that were assigned, and took some notes. I think I got the gist of all of them, and the glory of the internet is that you can look up anything and see if you were right, and get some other perspectives. By "right", I mean not totally off the mark--of course there is no right answer if you interpret something a certain way, but there is the generally accepted answers and then "woah, how did you come to that conclusion?")

I was fairly busy today putting together the slideshow for mom's memorial. Her sister mailed me some photos, and her boyfriend has been e mailing me photo attachments. Plus I am going up to my aunt's house Thursday to look at her pics. I found out they come out pretty well if I just take photos of photos with my phone which makes it easy to just put them in a PowerPoint. I have been a total bum hygenically though, as I did not put on real clothes. It's laundry day, and my favorite pair of jeans ripped across the butt, so I had nothing to wear. I ordered new jeans and did all the laundry, though.
becomingkate: (Default)
I dropped off my son for his first day of 5th grade today. It was fairly uneventful. He is disappointed because he doesn't really have friends in his new class. I found out he doesn't like one of them because he doesn't play fair. The other one, I think is just sensitive and my son doesn't know how to handle that. Although my son can be sensitive too but in a different way. There is a new boy in his class who seems a bit wild, but we will see.

I logged into my online college course today and was met with an image that said "Keep calm and love llamas". I straight out burst out laughing. It's a Race Relations class and I think it will be very interesting, and of course, timely. I checked out the syllabus and it seems fairly heavy with information. Plus I have to learn how to navigate the online course. Well, the first assignment of reading the syllabus and online etiquette rules and e mailing the teacher isn't even due until the 10th, and I've already done it. I didn't go in and see if I could complete other assignments yet, but I'll do that later. I think the website records every time I log in, so I don't want to spam up the log with logins every hour, LOL. 

I still have not received my grade for Public Speaking. I e mailed the registrar to see if she submitted them at all. It took my Sociology 101 teacher about a week to submit his grades, but it's been a couple weeks now.

It's Suicide Prevention Month, so I've been more vocal on twitter about that. I kind of dislike how there is a month designated for things like that though, because as soon as the month is over, people stop talking about it. I plan to keep talking about it when the month is over. I even got involved in a discussion when one person was putting down another who was trying to raise money for shirts with a slogan. Person A said Shirt Person wasn't actually trying to help people, but just promote a product. I looked back on Shirt Person's twitter and they did in fact speak more about mental health besides promoting the shirt. It seemed like Person A was angry about their own situation and was lashing out at someone. I said that any attempt to promote awareness helps (which is actually funny because I usually dislike gimmicks like shirts and ice bucket challenges or whatever when you could be actually talking about the issue). But I kind of see how if you wear a shirt with a slogan, people will go google that slogan and find out more about the issue. I think really passive support like clicking Like on something isn't as helpful, but maybe if you also repost/retweet whatever you liked, you're doing something more active.

I often think about my Twitter evolution. I've gone from NKOTB enthusiast to cooking tips to political opinions to mental health promotion. And I think it is great that Twitter is that kind of platform.

So I just got a notification that I've received credit for my reply on the Race Relations assignment. Gotta love internet!
becomingkate: (Default)
 My son got his class and teacher assignment, finally. He is getting the newly-hired 5th grade teacher and he's not terribly close with any of the boys in his class. He's not with his best friend which he's bummed about, but I do hope that not being so buddy-buddy with his classmates will help his focus.

I hope he doesn't get too discouraged with this placement. I hope that the new teacher works well with him.

Meanwhile, I also looked up my professors for the Fall, (ratemyprofessors.com is an awesome website) and it looks like the only one that might be a challenge is the astronomy. There are some funny reviews though, like "OMG I had to show up and study for this class" LOL. I'm a bit worried because a lot of people said that there was also online work for the astronomy class. But we will see. I have a pretty light schedule, with two weekdays of no classes at all, so I hope that will allow me the time I need.

I went back to Toastmasters last night and signed up to be a member. I'm a bit nervous but I think it will really help me. Last night was a comedic speech competition. Two guys from the group went and they were pretty good. I think it is hard to be funny during a rehearsed speech. I have no idea what I'd talk about. 
becomingkate: (Default)
 Today was the last public speaking class. At the beginning of class not everyone was there yet and she said to those of us there, "Well, I am glad you all are here because I want to tell you, you aren't taking a final." And then when a couple other people came in she asked to speak to them. So I am thinking maybe if their grade was questionable, like they didn't do great on the midterm or on the speeches, maybe they had to take the final after the rest of us left to show her they at least learned something. But I got A's on three of my speeches and the midterm and then of course the one B for the first speech. She said I had improved so much. I told her I went to Toastmasters and she was just delighted. She said to say hi to the president of the group for her.

I was the only one who made food for class. I mean around the beginning of the course she said we'd all have a party on the last day but then nobody brought anything but me. I kind of had a feeling people wouldn't but I was glad I did. I was actually afraid I didn't have enough, but I did. I just made a simple fruit cobbler. It turned out great.

I guess she kind of knew if you did well on the midterm you were going to ace the final.

I was surprised some people said they were going to take her English Lit class. I don't think I could sit through another class with her, lol. Especially for 3 months instead of 6 weeks! She was easy, but I don't think the English Lit class would be as forgiving.

So now I have just under 2 weeks before Fall starts. Time to get organized!


becomingkate: (Default)
 The eclipse was very cool today. We were not in the path of 100% eclipse but it was great to see nonetheless. I took my son to the zoo where they were giving glasses with zoo admission. They only had 90 pairs but we were early enough to get one. I was really glad we did it.

I saw a woman there who looked so much like J I am stilll not 100% sure it wasn't her. She had longer hair, and was skinnier, but I haven't seen her in 9 months, so it completely could have been her. I didn't want to keep staring though, so I can't be sure. LOL. What really made me think it was her is that she recently changed her profile pic (yeah, so sometimes I look to see if she has unblocked me but all I can see is her profile pic on our old messages) and I thought it was a very old pic because she was skinner and had longer hair. So either that was her or I just had that image on my brain and that woman matched the description. Anyway, it was really odd.

Wednesday is my last Public Speaking class. It's a good thing because my professor is driving me nuts. She was late today (she usually is) and kept going on about how she really shouldn't have come in today. I just don't think that is good for morale. I mean she knows what she's talking about, but she is so unprofessional it drives me crazy. Then she was like, so we can do the speeches and then everyone can leave, unless you all want to learn something else? and I guess my poker face wasn't very good because she was like "Oh thanks for the support, Kate." LOL. 

I feel like I got an A on all my speeches except the first one, where she gave everyone a B (and I was so nervous anyway), and I got an A on my midterm, so I really hope I get an A.  I am taking some more challenging classes in the fall so I could use the boost to my GPA.

Grading has got to be the hardest thing though, especially in something subjective like public speaking. Everyone is really doing their best, I think, short of a couple people who don't seem prepared sometimes. So how do you grade someone's personal best? It's not like studying will help you much in this case.
becomingkate: (Default)
I've got carpenters in my house so I can't leave the house.  I can barely leave the office because of this dog who won't stop whining so if I take the gate down he'll just get in their way.  I can't even put the gate up in the living room instead because the guys have to walk through there.

I hope they don't stay all day, but I have a feeling they will!

So, last few days have been NKOTB days so if you don't feel like slogging through my talking about that you can skip this bit.

NKOTB blather )

I contacted college asking how I could keep tabs on what they have received and what they haven't.  I was supposed to get a student ID after I applied and I either never got it or deleted it by accident.  I just hate waiting on people and would like to know sooner rather than later if there are things I need to get rolling.  I think it's too late for spring but I would like to enroll in summer classes if I can.  I'm not sure how that will work out considering we've already planned a vacation, but we'll see.
becomingkate: (Default)
 I'm impatiently waiting for things to go through on the other end as far as school application goes.  I think I've done everything I can, now I have to wait for my high school to get me my information, my college to write up a file on why I was on academic probation, my FAFSA to go through and my two college transcripts to go through.

My son did great at his Lion King performance last night.  I signed him up with the same instructor to do Aladdin next week!  

And like, I totally understand having the right to be annoyed at stuff but what I can't stand is people saying "oh I can't stand drama queens" and then they go on to spy on people's twitter timelines and tell me about it and just bring up random pet peeves all the time about being invited to a baby shower when you don't know the people, but you are friends with the grandmother-to-be, and that's probably why she invited you, because maybe she doesn't know any of her daughter's friends either, and she just wants someone she knows to be there with her?

It's like, I know things can't be awesome all the time but I firmly believe when you think negatively you attract negativity.  And yes I know at a certain point you get tired of being your own personal cheerleader but you kind of have to do it anyway and try to take every small positive thing and help it grow.  You can't just go "oh look there's a cool thing" and walk past it.  You have to take it and shine it and help it grow into other parts of your life.  Make it bigger than it is until it actually is that big.  You can't just take every good thing as a fluke and leave it alone.

Yes some days I feel like giving up too.  I'll look like a big old hyprocrite next time I come in here and say everything sucks, I want out.  Yes it does suck that I'm not really happy with my husband.  It sucks that I'm not coping with parenting as well as I should be.  I hate to sound like a Pollyanna all the time when most of the time I'm down in the dumps myself.  

I think I'm about to get in a fight with this girl I'm texting with because she just asked me if my friend's 6 year old was planned or an oops because her other children are a lot older.  Like that's any of your (or my) business!  I told her "I have no idea, that's not the kind of thing I ask people"

Seriously!  Okay so maybe most people don't have a bunch of mommy groups online where you learn that's like the #1 question you do not ask.

Anyway.  I think I upset her.  She hasn't answered.  Oh well!
becomingkate: (Default)
 So, something I haven't posted about yet.  I'm applying to college again!  

When I graduated high school I enrolled in college for psychology.  I had always enjoyed my psych classes in high school and done well in them.  I liked thinking about how the mind works.  I enjoyed abnormal psych, child psych, all the basic stuff I got to take.  I loved the experiments we learned about, from the more disturbing ones about following orders to the ones about how people like to feel like they're part of a crowd, and will little by little join a group of people who is staring at nothing, just so they don't feel left out.  I still remember carrying out this experiment in class.  We walked in and the teacher was staring at the ceiling in one corner and little by little everyone joined her even though nothing was there.  Interesting stuff.

So, I went to college.  I had bad experience after bad experience, experimented with being a slut for a while, had bad room mates, started skipping a lot of classes and eventually my entire rep was destroyed.  I left after a year and a half, despite wanting to beat the odds and come out on top.  I just didn't have a strong enough personality to overcome all that.  To live it down.

I still have nightmares about that place.  Common nightmares about standing in line to drop a class or being late for a class or being lost, basically a lot of things that actually did happen.  LOL

So now that I am a more well adjusted adult (oh who am I kidding, I'm just as messed up, I just know how to handle it better now) I decided to apply again.  We live down the street from one of the branches of UMass.  So I decided what the heck?

Let me tell you, it's like night and day compared to how applying to colleges was back in the 90's.  Remember snail mailing your applications, waiting for guidance counselors to get your high school transcripts ready to also snail mail, waiting for replies...in the mail...it felt like it took forever!  No more.  In 2 days I have gotten all my ducks in a row.  FAFSA forms done, transcripts requested, still waiting to hear from my high school, but that's about it!

I am excited! Even my son is intrigued at the prospect of mommy going back to school.  My husband has been supportive even offering to help me figure out tonight what direction I want to go after getting my psychology degree.  Should I minor? What should I do in grad school?

I'm not even sure what I want to do with it.  There are lots of ways I could go.  I thought it would be interesting to have an online practice, either through e mails or private chat rooms, for teenagers and tweens who don't have the time to go to a physical office, or who feel awkward talking with a psych face to face.  I'm not sure if that could work out, with confidentiality and all that, but it would be interesting to explore.  Other than that, maybe a school psych.  I think I do prefer teen/preteen age groups to adults or smaller children.  But we shall see, as my studies develop, what interests me.  

So...yay!


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