becomingkate: (Default)
 So, Sunday was my son's birthday party.  As expected we only had 2 kids.  Actually, we were expecting 3, but you know when kids say they'll come to the party and they never ask their parents.  I think that's what happened with the girl around the corner.  She said she was coming, but uhhh...forgot to give her mom a heads up about that.  LOL

So I'm just a little pissed that only 2 kids out of the 20+ kids he invited came.  He invited his whole class (19) and some kids on the bus (I'm not sure how many).  Either my son is causing kids to not like him at school and no adults are giving me a heads up on this behavior, or people don't know how to read an invitation or RSVP.  

My son won't tell me crap about his day.  I trust (or I thought I did) his teacher, recess monitors and other adults at school to make me aware of any behavior problems that are hindering his social life.  Because I'd understand if mostly boys came, or if a bunch of people said they can't make it, but nobody calling at all?  We got two people who said they couldn't come.  The two who came told me they would.  It leads me to hope that most parents just didn't even call.  I'd rather think the parents dropped the ball on this one, than think that nobody likes my son.

That's not to say that I'd be in denial if there were signs that my son wasn't making friends.  I'd totally get on it and help him pick up some qualities kids look for in friends (fairness, sharing, taking turns being a leader).  But like I said, he doesn't tell me anything is wrong and I'm not getting notices from the teacher.

Since we only had 2 moms at the party I got the chance to hear what they thought about the bomb threat a couple weeks ago.  They both said they were happy with how it was handled.  I still am not.  I never again want to wait a half hour to find out if my son is okay (although I'm in for years of excuses for why he didn't call me to say he was where he was supposed to be) and then another half hour until he gets home.  One mom said she found out it only took 3 minutes to evacuate the school which is pretty impressive considering they have kindergarten up to 5th grade.  She pointed out that instead of calling us, they were caring for our kids and that most kids weren't scared, they just thought it was a fire drill (even though they walked to the middle school).  I guess it was much scarier on our end than it actually was.  

My son got his next karate belt, he's gradually going to join the bigger kids class since he just turned 7, and is soon signing up for the black belt club, where he gets a nice black uniform and some weapons like a bo stick and something called kamas, which are like small scythes (not real blades though).  He gets to practice new moves and techniques with these weapons.  We were going to wait until January to sign him up for this but we found out if we sign up in November we get a discount.  We also signed him up for 2 years at karate.  He really likes it and says he wants to stick with it forever.  This is the best thing we have done for him, so far.  He's learned a lot about discipline and self control (although sometimes he still has a ways to go!).

becomingkate: (Default)
 My son got his white-yellow belt from karate on Friday.  We went to the graduation ceremony for all the kids who were getting new belts.  It was fun and really great to see him up there with no stage fright, doing a great job.  I remind him that the majority of people are afraid of going on stage in front of a bunch of people and performing, or even speaking.  He did great.

I've been trying this "marriage is not for you" mindset and it really seems to help and it also has helped me notice the things my husband does for me.  The idea is that you don't go into marriage for yourself-it's to make your partner, and children, if you have them, happy.  Of course it is flawed, because if the people in the family with you don't see it the same way, you're going to be unhappy pretty quick.  But I do realize that my husband does a lot so I don't have to.  So I try to do the same.  Sure, I'd love to sit on my ass and watch tv all day while he works, but last week I raked some leaves for him, I cook his food and do laundry when I think of it, I try to get to things that I know he wants to do, if he's not finding the time to do them.  And in return, he does a lot of cleaning, and does his best with our son (he can be very trying, as you've seen me describe).  Yeah sure, sometimes he (my husband) needs to grow the fuck up and he's a jerk sometimes but hey, so am I.  There are days when I don't do a damn thing and I blow up at my husband for something that isn't really his fault or I say something totally hypocritical.

I believe if you put out effort and love, you get it back.  If you go into something thinking, what's in it for me? you're less likely to find the answer.  If you go into something expecting to get hurt, you are more likely to get hurt because you give out that vulnerable vibe and you're more likely to be targeted.

I also know that shitty things happen for no reason.  Even if you go into something expecting the best, it can still fall apart for no good reason.  But if you see it as more of a fluke and not just more of the same normal shit that you deserve then I think you're more likely to bounce back and move on and not let it happen again.

Okay, I'm not entirely sure where that all came from.  To be honest, the bomb threat really affected me.  I was sitting by the window that day, waiting for my son's bus and I was thinking, what if this is it?  What if this is the day our life changes--we lose our son or we find out he was hurt or that he saw something horrible happen and our lives change forever.  It really scared me.  Since that day I've tried to be more patient.  Yeah, it's only been 4 days, but that's a long time for me to go without flipping my lid. I've just tried to appreciate more.  It seems like fewer things matter.  I'm extremely thankful that I seem to have learned this lesson without any major life changes.  Some people don't get that chance. 
becomingkate: (Default)
 I've typed out this story to a number of people online, but I think I'm ready to do it again.

Yesterday, my son's bus was late getting him home in the afternoon.  We were getting worried when it got close to 10 minutes late, and I kept calling the school, only to get a busy signal, and no answer from some moms I know who have kids in my son's school.  Finally, we got an automated call from the school.  Everyone was fine, but there had been a bomb threat written on the wall in one of the bathrooms.  My son's bus was an hour late.  They hadn't even told him anything. He said they all walked down to the middle school which is around the corner from my son's elementary school.  They had to stay there for a while, and this all happened close to dismissal time, so I guess they were late getting back to the buses and that's why he was an hour late getting home.

I'll never forget sitting there by the window, waiting for the bus, wondering.  Was there a shooting? an explosion?  A bus accident?  Once I couldn't get through to the school, I knew it had to be big.  One bus getting in an accident wouldn't tie up the phone lines for half an hour.  And then I was angry that they hadn't called us sooner.  I know their priority was making sure everyone was safe, but not sending out an automated phone call until half an hour after most kids are home?  Almost an hour after dismissal time?  They didn't even tell us what time the buses finally did get out of there, so we would know what time to expect our kids home.  I know it's impossible to think of everything.  But I would think, if I were a parent getting this automated message, what would I want to know?  

And finally, who the fuck writes a fake bomb threat on the wall at an elementary school?


becomingkate: (Default)

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