becomingkate: K is for Kate by Edward Gorey (kate)
 Today would have been Edward Gorey's 88th birthday!

I have to work again Monday and then I shouldn't have to work mornings anymore.  My husband got an earlier shift so I have to be home in the mornings soon to get my son on the bus. The person I was replacing was caring for her husband, who passed away last week.  I'm not sure how long she'll be out for a mourning period (if any, I'm not really sure what the policies are on that, and we did just have a week of vacation) but my boss made it sound like I wouldn't be needed after Monday.

My husband and I had a huge meltdown a few nights ago and in traditional fashion we haven't discussed it since.  Just another thing to sweep under the rug, I guess.  I wish I were strong enough to leave but I feel like leaving would present more problems than it would solve.

Today's the last day of Feb. vacation. We were kind of at each other's throats all week, except yesterday when we had the church activity thing to do in the middle of the day.  

NKOTB has released 2 songs from their upcoming album.  So far I really like it.  It seems more of an ensemble album instead of one person singing the entirety of a song.  Like instead of "oh that's a Jordan song" it's a little bit of each of them.  I dig that.  

They're selling a limited deluxe package.  A Fenway DVD is included (which is not being release except for in this package) plus a piece of the banner that was hanging at their Fenway show.  On one hand I know I should back out and leave it for people who didn't get to go to Fenway.  On the other hand?  WANT.

But if I know nkotb, they'll come out later and say "Guess what! We are releasing the Fenway DVD to the general public!"  They're always doing crap like that and honestly it kind of bothers me.  It makes them look like they are trying to make money by saying something is limited and then releasing it to the public anyway.  Like when they came out with the tour dates and then came out with more tour days a few days later. I mean of course they're trying to make money.  But it just looks...sneaky, you know?

Joey's coming to Boston to run in the marathon in April!  I might have to go stalk cheer him on.  
becomingkate: (Default)
 I'm working all next week, too.  Sigh.

The new kid was very quiet. I don't know if he was just feeling out the vibe of the bus, or if he'll always be like that. If he's always like that, no sweat.

In other news, CRAMPS! HOLY CRAP!


I alternate from feeling fine to OMG I'm not so great get me off this bus now.  

Friday it's supposed to snow and it might be bad, so I can hope that they'll cancel school in advance.  I hope I hope I hope.

Good vibes please?

I need to get my son off the xbox and try to convince him dinner is a good idea. LOL
becomingkate: (Default)
 I got asked to work all this week again.  Mornings too.  Groan.  Why couldn't I say no?  I couldn't even say no for Wednesday afternoon.  My son has a half day but they especially want me to work that day because a new kid is joining the bus and they want to make sure there are no problems.  So I called my mother in law so she could get him off the bus and take care of him until I can come pick him up after work.

I really don't want to do this full time again.  It makes me anxious to see this long week stretch ahead of me instead of "Okay. I'm working today and that's it" which is usually what I can convince myself into thinking, if they don't tell me ahead of time that they need me all week.

For those of you who got codes from me, I just got an e mail that they are sending the packages out in a timely matter but that they are getting held up in the mail.  

I had another of the snacks today and it was decent.  I'm not a huge fan of the sweet snacks but I don't want to X them all off either because that wouldn't leave many snacks left.  Because I chose the low cal plan I get fewer options to begin with.  So I'm eating things I wouldn't think to buy at the store and I guess that's a good thing.  What seems to be the deal is that their snacks are mostly little assortments of pieces of things, so they take longer to eat even though it's only a small handful.

Plus now that I'm working again I won't want to eat much for fear of upsetting my stomach.

I'm not sure if I'll do the writing prompt today. I feel like they either inspire nothing or bring up the same topic over and over.  Maybe that's my problem and not the prompt's problem, though.  Either way I'll probably wait until later.  I have to leave in half an hour anyway. Some good healing vibes for my sensitive tummy would be great :)
becomingkate: (Default)
 So this morning I had no anxiety at all.  It was really strange.  Well I did feel slightly uncomfortable, but not like OMG get me off this bus right now!

So I'm hoping I feel okay through the afternoon.  As I said before, it sucks that I have this two-shift thing.  I would much rather have a normal job where you go to work and you're there all day and then you go home.  Because I really don't enjoy this three hour break in the middle.  

I'm about to go on a rant and I don't want any of you to feel like you have to read it or reply but here it is under a cut.  I imagine it's very sensitive to most if not all of you, but I had to get it out.

I'm on a roll today...abortion and gun control discussed inside )
becomingkate: (Default)
 My Friday pm and today a.m. back to work went okay.  All was quiet so I didn't have to break up any disorderliness or anything.  The problem is when it's quiet I 1) start to feel sleepy and 2) start to focus on my anxiety and make myself feel worse.  I forgot how much anxiety wipes me out.  I feel like I could take a nap, but I know I will wake up feeling worse.  Nothing really helps distract me from it, especially not on the bus and this job is really bad for it because after I do the morning pickup and ride to school, I get to go home and think about it for 3 hours before going back for the pickup and drive to all their houses.

The pickup takes an hour and the drive to school takes half an hour.

I'd like to type more about it but I'm feeling more anxious already.  I hate this.

So...big NKOTB year.  Tour date announcement on Jan. 22, a single coming out this month and a new album dropping later in the spring (I believe they said March or April), another cruise and a tour this summer.  Joey said he was planning on going solo for a bit (as well as doing things with NKOTB) but haven't heard anything about that yet.

Donnie is keeping busy with producing a show about the Boston police department on TNT called Boston's Finest (not out yet)  Supposedly there is going to be a reality show about the Wahlbergs' burger joint, aptly called Wahlburgers.  

Oh and does anyone watch Once Upon a Time?  Spoiler under the cut...I thought there was a spoiler tool here? )
becomingkate: (Default)
I'm thinking of quitting my job or at least trying to transfer to something else. Right now I'm a bus monitor on a small van that takes 3 kids to a school just out of state. I go twice a day-once to pick them up at their houses and bring them to school, and then after about a 3 hour break I go back to the school and we bring them home. It sounds easy right? Here's the problem-I've been having chronic stomach aches lately. Because of many medical issues I've had since birth this is very uncomfortable for me and I'm never sure if I'm going to be okay or if I'll need to run to a bathroom. This is not really cool when you're stuck on a van on the highway.

It's mostly anxiety, because usually as soon as I get home, or sometimes even after the kids have left the van, I start to feel better. But because it's so random, I'm never sure what's going to happen.

I'd love to stay home, but we make just a little less than enough money. My job is only part time-I really need a full time one. My husband is okay with me going back to school IF I study something I'm actually going to use. But how am I to know what will be lucrative?

I've mentioned before that I have a project in the works, and I've considered making a website for this project. I'd need to take some classes for that because I don't know the first thing about making websites.

I wish I could just function normally and get a real job but I don't think a lot of people are going to be accepting of my having to randomly find a bathroom all the time. LOL

My mom did mention that I could try for disability, which I guess I'll bring up with my doctor when I go in a couple weeks. I hate having to do that, because there are people with real disabilities and here I am just not being able to handle not being near a bathroom. I feel like that's a lame excuse. But I don't know what else to do. I also don't really want to go back to school. I'm not really very self motivated.

becomingkate: (Default)
IDK if it's school making my son cranky or what but he's a little monster (not in the cool Lady Gaga way either) when he gets home. 
This is not what I meant when I said I wanted my life to be interesting... )
becomingkate: (Default)
Dang...I did like to write about NKOTB a lot, a long time ago.  I just went back and read a bunch of old entries.  They're good for a laugh, especially the one on June 20, 2011.  That was quite a day!

I have 2-3 hours of free time in the middle of my day now, since my son goes to school and I work a split shift.  I'm a bus monitor and we have to bring them to school, and then go back to take them home in the afternoon.  In my free time (you know, that time in which you should be doing something productive), I have started watching Dawson's Creek again.  It was one of my guilty pleasures back in the day.  Oh, it is so bad!   I don't know how the whole thing got accepted.  In just the pilot there are some major sexual situations.  I mean, like every conflict is based on sex.  LOL  It's still good fun and I'm a big fan of young Katie Holmes (before Tom Cruise ruined her).  I also based one of my characters in my fanfic on Pacey so it will be fun to watch him again and maybe get some inspiration to start that up again.

I'm working on a project I don't want to say much about but if I could get some good vibes about that, that would be awesome.  I have a good feeling about it.

Hi guys!

Sep. 7th, 2012 05:23 pm
becomingkate: (Default)
Well it does seem like I figured out the lj cut, even though I couldn't see that it worked for a little while. 

Blabbing under the cut )
becomingkate: Says I'm not doing shit today, and mission accomplished checked off underneath it (shit)
So today was a bit of a bust--with promises of 70 degree weather, I was going to take my son to the zoo or park or something, but it didn't really get much higher than 65 and it was breezy and cloudy, so we stayed home.  It seemed like a fast day though, probably because I took a nap on the couch for a while while my son watched TV. (I promise I'm not usually such a slacker mom, and we did make crayons, so it wasn't a total waste of a day)

Soooo...I left my husband for a couple days last week.  I'd had a terrible day with my son and I was sick of my husband's usual problems such as not listening to me for the millionth time.  So we had a big fight and I took off to my mom's house.  I really wasn't sure if I was coming back, but after a couple days I started to miss them.  I figured out things I wanted to change (such as putting an end to this whole stay at home mom thing--I don't know how people do it.)  And when I got home on Friday I talked to my husband and we're trying again.

So my personal trainer offered me a job at a gym he is opening--I will work in the day care.  But I have to get cpr/first aid certified so I'm taking this online video class and then I have to go demonstrate all the different techniques to an instructor.

This week I will not be here for the FFA :(  Make it epic for me to read on Sunday, okay?  I'm going to a youth group sleepover at my church.  It will be fun.

I hit a milestone of a 10 lb weight loss a few days ago but promptly gained back 2 lbs around the time my husband and I were fighting.  Food is my comfort, my escape, the only thing I feel I can control sometimes.


becomingkate: (Default)

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