becomingkate: (Default)
 My husband bought me a four pound block of wax at the craft store today! I wish I had some dyes, because I have some essential oils (I think I'm going to shorten that to EO) lying around and I'm anxious to try them out.  I should probably wait until I have the dyes.  I found a neat website that has dye blocks that supposedly come with a good chart that tells you how much of each block you need for different shades of each color, but last time I checked, their online ordering was down, so I may have to call them.

I also need containers for the candles.  Drat.  And wicks.  Looks like I'll be making orders tomorrow and waiting for everything to come in. Patience!

I also have a little extra money to spend on clothes so I'm not wearing my one pair of jeans and the sweater that still fits all winter, heh.  I also want to make a purchase from Lush.  I need some good face wash and more toothy tabs-I want to try a different flavor.  I also want to see what other things they have that are geared towards kids.  He likes his play doh soap/shampoo/bubble bath.

I weighed in this morning and it looks like I have my work cut out for me.  I'm still blogging on myfitnesspal.com, so you shouldn't see too much about the weight loss or diet here.
becomingkate: (Default)
 I feel so blah. I'm realizing how much weight I'm gaining when my clothes don't fit anymore.  I'm constantly tugging down my shirt or hiking up my pants and trying to adjust my posture so I don't look fat, or worse, pregnant.  Ugh.  I've really got to move around more often.  It's really sad that there's a treadmill in the house and I don't use it.

I had a draining day, not because I was busy but because I spent 4 hours at a kid's birthday party and hardly spoke to anyone.  I didn't know anyone.  They had nothing to do to entertain the parents while the kids played in the bouncy house.  I mean I don't expect a party for the parents but if the party is at the residence there better be something, at least a magician so the parents can kind of enjoy that.  Not just sit and watch the kids play outside.  We've had parties at the house, but they were 2 hours.  

I took my son to the family therapist today and he told her he thinks I should see "someone like her" ie a therapist. LOL.  So even my son thinks I'm the one with the issues.  He is sort of opening up to her, but when he gets home he tells me "some kids are like this, mom" like there's nothing he can do to adjust his behavior, and I know there is, because he doesn't misbehave for anyone but us and occasionally my MIL.

He said "When you punish me I love you a little bit less every time" and "punishing doesn't work so you shouldn't do it".  Ha!  If I didn't care, I wouldn't do it.  I would probably just leave.  But I care, and I want this kid to grow up right so I keep trying.  I keep telling myself one day he'll understand.  If he's still speaking to me by then.




becomingkate: (Default)
 I've decided to write about my weight loss stuff over at myfitnesspal.com.  If any of you are over there my username is daylilies.  I don't track food or anything but I track my weight and I'll be writing the blog.

Did I even mention my son lost his first tooth? It happened last week and he was so excited.  I was glad he could stop playing with it, finally.  It made me nauseous to see him wiggling it.




becomingkate: (Default)
 BTW, I didn't think of this before, but if you have a hard time reading about dieting or eating or anything to do with food, I'll be using the "optimistic weight loss plans" tag on all these posts about what I'm eating (or not eating), so you can skip them if you need to.  Not sure if that's an issue for anyone, but just in case.



I ended up skipping the shrimp because it's still frozen and I didn't feel like thawing it, plus I bought extra fish so I just had some of that with breadcrumbs and a little butter and mayo, and roasted asparagus.  My son didn't finish his fish sandwich so I have half of that to have tomorrow.

Gosh I am hungry, and I feel like I need a drink.  I must be bored.  My husband says no drink this week.  It must be a sign of a problem that I have a hard time going a few days without one.  I think I'm just bored.  I watched about twice as much tv as I usually do today, because I wasn't keeping myself busy by eating.


Imagine if I spent that time cleaning..hmm.

becomingkate: (Default)
Today has been decent. This morning I made pancakes for my son because I told him I'd make them this weekend and we didn't.  I have buttermilk I need to use up (and since I'm trying to go low carb again I can't exactly whip up a batch of biscuits or something).  I still have a lot left and I'm not entirely sure if it goes bad faster than regular milk.

Anyway, the pancakes were great especially with real maple syrup that I bought to make maple frosting for the banana cake I made a couple weeks ago. (Did I mention that was amazing?) I don't think one small pancake is going to ruin the day.

I'm defrosting some of the frozen raw shrimp I have so I can boil it and just have it cold later, dipped in some ketchup (lazy man's cocktail sauce), Om nom nom.

Then for lunch I had...oh what did I have.  I had some leftover chicken that also came out really good.  I also had a red bull this morning because that is my habit.  I'm getting ready to go on the treadmill and I also went to the grocery store and got some good snacks.

Husband laid down the rules and I'm not sure they're strict enough.  Basically no fast food, no eating after 9:30 p.m., no copious amounts of alcohol more than once a week and no more than one drink a week other than that.  I can cheat once a week which I already used up on BK (I won't be doing that again).  I'm also putting upon both of us a basic diet of more fish, less bread and pasta, less red meat, which we don't eat all that much anyway.  Oh and also I'm going on the treadmill for half an hour a day 4 times a week, to start.

I'm ready. I'm going to do it again and hopefully this is the last time I'll have to go on a weight loss journey.
becomingkate: (Default)
 Day one of operation: weight loss wasn't really day one.  I decided today's my cheat day, which was probably a bad idea since I'll be bouncing around the house by myself for the rest of the week with nobody to tell me what to eat.

I decided on Burger King because I wanted to try the chipotle whopper and loaded tots, and I have to say they weren't really worth it.  Chipotle is supposed to be spicy and it wasn't, and the tots were mushy instead of having a little bite to them.  Oh well.

I went on the treadmill for half an hour.  I tried to listen to the Zombies, Run! 5K app but I need to make a music playlist to play during it because when you just put it on random you can't skip any songs.  So I turned off the app and just put my music on shuffle so I could skip things. It worked well and I think I pushed myself, because my legs hurt already.

My husband said he was fine with eating lots of fish, so I guess that's what I'm going to focus on.  Maybe try that Mediterranean diet.
becomingkate: (Default)
 We planted some of the garden today-the tomato and pepper plants that we got.  We have bean and pea plants growing in the house, we'll transplant them when they get bigger.

I asked my husband to please help me with my diet.  I need help.  I'm getting fatter quickly and it's sort of alarming and very discouraging.  I dread thinking about wearing summer clothes, even spring clothes.  I used to hide under my winter jacket.  I need to buy new pants, capris and skirts for the upcoming nice weather.  Not looking forward to that either.  Don't even get me started on the bathing suit.

I hope to be down to a size where I feel good about myself by the end of July when we go on our Disney trip and I'm interested to see how my husband is going to help.  I mean really I only have 40 lbs to lose and if I go by the 2 lb. a week standard, I can do that in 20 weeks.  5 months.  I have 3 months until the trip which means I will have lost maybe 24 lbs.  I can live with that, for now.


becomingkate: (Default)
 I got asked to work all this week again.  Mornings too.  Groan.  Why couldn't I say no?  I couldn't even say no for Wednesday afternoon.  My son has a half day but they especially want me to work that day because a new kid is joining the bus and they want to make sure there are no problems.  So I called my mother in law so she could get him off the bus and take care of him until I can come pick him up after work.

I really don't want to do this full time again.  It makes me anxious to see this long week stretch ahead of me instead of "Okay. I'm working today and that's it" which is usually what I can convince myself into thinking, if they don't tell me ahead of time that they need me all week.

For those of you who got graze.com codes from me, I just got an e mail that they are sending the packages out in a timely matter but that they are getting held up in the mail.  

I had another of the snacks today and it was decent.  I'm not a huge fan of the sweet snacks but I don't want to X them all off either because that wouldn't leave many snacks left.  Because I chose the low cal plan I get fewer options to begin with.  So I'm eating things I wouldn't think to buy at the store and I guess that's a good thing.  What seems to be the deal is that their snacks are mostly little assortments of pieces of things, so they take longer to eat even though it's only a small handful.

Plus now that I'm working again I won't want to eat much for fear of upsetting my stomach.

I'm not sure if I'll do the writing prompt today. I feel like they either inspire nothing or bring up the same topic over and over.  Maybe that's my problem and not the prompt's problem, though.  Either way I'll probably wait until later.  I have to leave in half an hour anyway. Some good healing vibes for my sensitive tummy would be great :)

grazing

Feb. 3rd, 2013 02:34 pm
becomingkate: (Default)


A while ago we saw a commercial for this site called www.graze.com that sends you pre-packaged snacks.  They have a big assortment and you can even choose a low-cal plan.  They pick the assortment of 4 snacks for you and mail it to you weekly, and you can go to their website and rate the snacks--like, if you really hate something you get, you "trash it" and they won't send it to you again.  You can also go through and rate snacks even if you haven't gotten them-like if you know you hate nuts you can go through and trash all the nuts.

Why would someone do this when they can go to the grocery store?  Well, for me, if my little snack is packaged for me I get a better picture of "This is my snack.  I'm going to eat this and then wait for next snack or meal time."  Instead of "I HAVE A GIANT BAG OF CHIPS IN THE PANTRY AND IT'S ALL MINE MUAHAHAHAHA EAT ALL THE CHIPS"



It took me a long time to get my first box (which is free, by the way) but it looks yummy.  Each snack is very small.  For my first snack I chose a small poppyseed cake that came with a teabag.  The tea is yummy-it says it is an assortment of Assam, Kenyan and Earl Grey tea leaves.  It is slightly minty.

Anyway the whole point of this entry (and a reward if you've made it this far) is that I have four codes for four wonderful friends who would like to try this!  At this point graze.com is not open to the public-you have to see the commercial with the code or get a code from a wonderful friend like myself :P

If you go to the site and you decide you don't like their snacks I hope you'll pass on the code to someone else so someone will use it :)  

So leave a note in the comments and I will message the first 4 I get and send you your code. 

***The codes are all gone! Thanks for snatching them up so quick! I hope everyone likes them.***


becomingkate: (elphaba)
Just for the record, my resolutions are to continue to try to be nice to my husband and son and also maybe lose some weight along the way.  If I could eat less when I'm stressed instead of eating more, I'd be all set!

I'd also like to be a little better with the way I write.  Less peppering with "LOL" and "like", and just...better writing.

I plan to stay here at LJ as long as possible, because I am resistant to change.  I have no idea how DW works.  If the creepy comm has to move to DW I will obviously figure it out so I can mod over there.  

Last night my husband was playing world of warcraft and I was tapping my fingers at 11:50 while he was still on.  We usually watch the ball drop.  So at 11:55 I went to watch it on my own and he came in a couple minutes later.  Unfortunately our cable box then reset and we missed the ball drop by about 10 seconds.  So we stayed up until 1 and watched Nashville's lame little music note drop.  LOL

Another new year off to a dubious start.  Did I tell you guys about the time NKOTBSB was in Times Square on NYE?  We watched it on TV and it should have been the most awesome NYE ever but we had a dumb fight about sex (long story short-he loves it, I hate it) and ruined the whole thing.  I'm really sick of my holidays being ruined or cut short.
becomingkate: (Default)
Can't believe I'm actually really ahead of schedule for Christmas shopping this year.  Go me!  I'm done with my son and husband, my dad and stepmom's presents are on their way and my aunt's presents are on their way too.  Next I have
newlywed cousin and her husband
two other cousins (both single)
aunt and uncle
and my husband's parents and sister and her boyfriend.  I think I already have the parents in law presents, my son came up with a couple things from Things Remembered (a store with basically knick knacks that you can get engraved, kind of tacky but easy).  I just have to go to the mall and get it done one day.  It doesn't take long.

What really bugs me is that I ask all the above people if they have anything they actually want for Christmas.  Is there some taboo against adults wanting something for themselves?  Because every time I ask, they completely avoid the question.  Wouldn't people rather get something they actually want and not have to make me guess or make me pick up something generic like bath soaps or a gift card?

My husband wants to try going vegetarian 3x a week to start, more if we like it.  It's purely for health reasons, although I'm a little skeptical because our vice seems to be snacks which are usually vegetarian anyway.  Vegetarian doesn't necessarily mean healthy, if it's fried or covered in cheese or loaded with carbs.  But neither one of us wants to cut out dairy so we're not going vegan.  If any of you have some good veggie entree ideas I'd be happy to hear them.  He also doesn't want to cut out fish, so there's that.  
becomingkate: (Default)
Not much new on the front with my son. We got him registered for K the other day, after having to drive to Dorchester (part of Boston) for his birth certificate. My husband and I both thought we had a copy in our possession but come registration day we found we didn't. So I had to drive up and around the city in circles looking for this place that was not well marked and wasn't even where my GPS said it was. But all is well now.

I'm afraid to weigh myself, so I am going to try eating WW meals for lunch and dinner, a sensible breakfast (cereal and berries, or a couple scrambled eggs with cheese, for instance). That should leave me with plenty of calories for snacking at night which I cannot seem to get a handle on. WW calories are 6-7 points each and I think I have 19 points per day to play with plus the extra weekly points. I'm going to try that for maybe 3 weeks and then weigh myself. Hopefully that'll be less scary. I already know I've gained back the 20 lbs I lost last year which I'm really disappointed about.

I keep telling myself it'll be easier to eat sensibly when I don't have to drive my son to and from preschool at lunch time and pass by every fast food place in town. But I'm sure I'll have some other lame excuse next year.

I always fall into the same patterns. I get super psyched about my new idea for losing weight, be it going low carb, or running on the treadmill or just trying to eat sensibly. I think, what can go wrong? I go easy on myself, I allow myself to cheat. And I still fail. I'm getting sick of it.

I'm going on a cruise in June and I'm in my cousin's wedding the week after that. I really want to look good for both. But the instant reward of crappy food seems more enticing at the time.
becomingkate: Says I'm not doing shit today, and mission accomplished checked off underneath it (shit)
So today was a bit of a bust--with promises of 70 degree weather, I was going to take my son to the zoo or park or something, but it didn't really get much higher than 65 and it was breezy and cloudy, so we stayed home.  It seemed like a fast day though, probably because I took a nap on the couch for a while while my son watched TV. (I promise I'm not usually such a slacker mom, and we did make crayons, so it wasn't a total waste of a day)

Soooo...I left my husband for a couple days last week.  I'd had a terrible day with my son and I was sick of my husband's usual problems such as not listening to me for the millionth time.  So we had a big fight and I took off to my mom's house.  I really wasn't sure if I was coming back, but after a couple days I started to miss them.  I figured out things I wanted to change (such as putting an end to this whole stay at home mom thing--I don't know how people do it.)  And when I got home on Friday I talked to my husband and we're trying again.

So my personal trainer offered me a job at a gym he is opening--I will work in the day care.  But I have to get cpr/first aid certified so I'm taking this online video class and then I have to go demonstrate all the different techniques to an instructor.

This week I will not be here for the FFA :(  Make it epic for me to read on Sunday, okay?  I'm going to a youth group sleepover at my church.  It will be fun.

I hit a milestone of a 10 lb weight loss a few days ago but promptly gained back 2 lbs around the time my husband and I were fighting.  Food is my comfort, my escape, the only thing I feel I can control sometimes.
becomingkate: (Default)
First off, I have to confess whenever I see the words "Herp derp" I LOL forever. Extra LOLing if a picture or gif is involved.

Ok I really have nothing else to say but I can't just leave it at that...

Oh! My cousin is getting married and she asked me to be a bridesmaid! I'm so excited! I think I'm more excited about this than my own wedding. There are a bunch of bridesmaids and a maid of honor of course. I'm a little bit afraid of being left out of the loop, though, because they all live in the same area and I'm about 2 hours away (with a small child who's not in school all day, to boot) I hope they keep me involved. Although it would be cool to just show up and look pretty, LOL.

So now I have an extra motivation for my weight loss. Plus she's not getting married until 2012. I think they really planned it right. Get married near the end of the world so you don't have time to get sick of each other. :)

I'm sort of at an impass, here, with my diet. It seems like if I avoid one bad thing I find another. I thought I was doing great, keeping my carbs down and boosting my protein and then I found out I hadn't lost any weight in a week. My trainer thinks I'm eating too much sodium, so now I have to watch that too. It sucks. Thank goodness for myfitnesspal.
becomingkate: (Default)
I just realized I'm not going to make it to the FFA tomorrow :(  Husband has the day off because we're going to a concert at night and I guess the plan is to try to con my inlaws into taking our son for most of the day and maybe catch Inception.
I didn't have anything amazing to post anyway, but I did stumble upon the ghost picture that was pretty much my nightmare fuel when I was about 8 or 9.  It looks fake to me now, but pure terror when I was that age. 
I burned almost 400 calories in 45 minutes today.  I had my first personal training session and he threw me on the treadmill at max incline and 2.7 mph and told me to go.  I joked, "Is it okay if I hold on?"
If my legs still work tomorrow, I'm going to have to do that every time I go to the gym (4-5 days a week, on average).
becomingkate: (Default)
Went to the gym again for more fitness tests.  I'm seriously out of shape.  I'm confident that I can do it this time though, since I have personal training once a week and he's going to take my measurements every couple weeks so I will hopefully stay motivated when I see those numbers going down.  I think it's going to be so hot if I actually slim down this time.  I have an appt. on Wed. and he wants me to burn 200 cal. in 20 minutes, which is twice as much as I usually do in 30 minutes, so this should be interesting.

I'm actually really hoping that my cousin asks me to be in her wedding in 2012 so I'm taking some preemptive steps to slim down before then.  Even if she doesn't ask me to be in it, I still want to look good as one of the guests.  I haven't worn a cute dress in years because I hate how I look.

I'm home alone--husband got called into work and my son is with my inlaws until later tonight.  I'm supposed to be cleaning...bahahahaha.
But really, I have to get on it at some point.  Later.

I saw that The Innocents was on so I looked for future showings and set one to record.  I'm excited!
becomingkate: (Default)
I just ate so much I can't believe it was on my diet.  I had 4.5 oz. chicken breast, a cup of egg noodles and 1 oz. cheddar cheese.  Cheese looks like a lot more than it is, when it's shredded.
I was supposed to have 7 oz. of chicken, but I just couldn't do it.  I'm so full.
Agggh The Sixth Sense is on.  I love the concept of this movie so much but the ghosts really freak me out.  The first time I saw it (in the theater, no less) I couldn't sleep for a long time because I couldn't stop seeing the people hanging.  OMG the part where he and his wife are in the restaurant is so heartbreaking because you think she's ignoring him but...well you know.
The Cell was on earlier, and I really should have recorded it, but I didn't.
becomingkate: (Default)
I'm such a party pooper tonight.  DH can stay up late because he doesn't have to work tomorrow, but I'm not in the mood to do anything.  He even tried to get me to watch a horror movie but I wasn't up for it.  I don't like making him watch that stuff with me--he's sweet for trying to humor me, but I know he's not into it.  So he's in the office playing Starcraft 2 and I'm in the living room, bored.  I'm such a dud.  I can't even drown my ambivalence in food or alcohol because I'm trying not to snack so much at night, although I did just finish a Jack and diet Coke.  Tomorrow I make a trip to the grocery store to pick up some stuff for my meal plan.  Man, I hope this weight loss thing works quick. I'm looking forward to being skinny again, though.

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