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Think something beautiful
May. 8th, 2013 02:29 pmI've come to the conclusion that there just isn't much quality to my life. Some people put beauty into everything they do, whether it's a walk with their kids or cooking or knitting or going shopping to find that perfect knick knack for the living room shelf. Me, I spend all day alternating between the tv and computer, doing the same things over and over and really having nothing to show for it at the end of the day. I don't feel like there is much beauty or uniqueness or personality to my life. My husband comes home and he's exhausted. I get nothing out of him. I get him arguing with our son and I remind him that since he got home, he's gone on the treadmill, worked on cleaning the house, had dinner, browsed on the computer and basically done his own thing for a couple hours, so now that we're down to half an hour before our son goes to bed could you try to be nice to him?
Everything's a mess. Our son's things have taken over the house and he refuses to let me throw anything away. It's guaranteed if I throw something away that he hasn't touched in months, that will be what he wants to play with when he gets home. Half-finished drawings and projects litter every room.
And me? I'm lazy. I'll admit it. I could clean every day, throw out the garbage when our son's not here, but I'd rather get lost in flipping tv channels or browsing the same few websites (because facebook is always being updated by someone, right?) and it's nice and I feel content but it really hits me when my husband asks what did you do today? And the best thing I can come up with is that I caught up on my tv shows. I am that person that most women complain about: I don't clean, I don't work, I'm totally unmotivated and what's worse is instead of trying to fix it I just hate everything and everyone.
I want to throw the animals out of the house. And the people, too, come to think of it. You know the saying, cluttered desk, cluttered mind? Well it's more like, cluttered house, cluttered life. I'm thinking about going to therapy again. Finding a good one, this time, one who will actually work with me and not just chit chat like she's a good friend I'm meeting for coffee. I don't want to chat. I want help.
Everything's a mess. Our son's things have taken over the house and he refuses to let me throw anything away. It's guaranteed if I throw something away that he hasn't touched in months, that will be what he wants to play with when he gets home. Half-finished drawings and projects litter every room.
And me? I'm lazy. I'll admit it. I could clean every day, throw out the garbage when our son's not here, but I'd rather get lost in flipping tv channels or browsing the same few websites (because facebook is always being updated by someone, right?) and it's nice and I feel content but it really hits me when my husband asks what did you do today? And the best thing I can come up with is that I caught up on my tv shows. I am that person that most women complain about: I don't clean, I don't work, I'm totally unmotivated and what's worse is instead of trying to fix it I just hate everything and everyone.
I want to throw the animals out of the house. And the people, too, come to think of it. You know the saying, cluttered desk, cluttered mind? Well it's more like, cluttered house, cluttered life. I'm thinking about going to therapy again. Finding a good one, this time, one who will actually work with me and not just chit chat like she's a good friend I'm meeting for coffee. I don't want to chat. I want help.
