I won't like totally disparage him or anything because I get how it is when you need to vent and I know I'm not seeing a complete picture of things here in internetland but I dunno, with how consistently you've been unhappy and most of all with your ongoing frustrations with your son... I'm kind of starting to suspect the one who needs therapy is hubby.

Not that I'm saying he's off his rocker but just, it sounds like he's got anger management issues he's not dealing with, and frankly I think that might be what's rubbing off on Junior. Seeing how Dad treats you DOES have an impact on how he treats you- he's going to model that behavior. If getting frustrated and deciding his feelings are everyone else's responsibility is how Hubster rolls, I can't see how your son wouldn't watch that and pick up on it as a way to behave himself. By all accounts it sounds like the kid's no dummy.

Just food for thought. I think this dude needs to learn healthier ways to cope with things because he's setting himself up to fail as it is, and he'll drag you all down with him by the looks of it and blame you as he goes. :P His intentions at this point are not as important as results, and these are the results. He needs to get his shit together.