You are not being unrealistic, he's been acting like it's up to you to do all the work-- relationship needs fixing, your job, kid needs fixing, your job, you need fixing, your job and never mind he married you he won't be providing active support.
No I'm sorry he agreed to make a family unit with you and add a kid to it, he needs to pull his motherfucking weight, and that means emotionally too. Children have behavioral and emotional needs and whether he likes it or not they learn by observation and mimicry as much or more than by things we actively teach them.
If he doesn't have "time" for therapy he better make some. If he keeps refusing to address any of his behavior, I would take a week and take your son and go somewhere just to get a breather, and think about options. I know that is probably really impractical but hanging around endlessly to die by a thousand paper cuts won't work in the long run either. Trying to ascertain who is the most of the problem so that person can be the family scapegoat and everyone else can slack off on dealing with issues is only going to make all of you miserable and that's his current idea for dealing with this-- doesn't matter if that's not what he thinks his idea is, that's what he's doing so that's how he's handling it. It doesn't matter whose fault it is, you're a family and it's your joint responsibility, and he's supposed to be a grown-ass man with a son and he isn't doin' the do.
I'm kind of mad at him, obviously, heh. But seriously though, he's acting a right prat and he's going to fuck that poor kid up and what's worse he's going to fuck you up inside and dammit no way! I'll cut off his toes. He needs to grow a pair of ovaries and woman up, since being a man about it obviously isn't doing him any good HAHAHA.
You can run away and come live with me if he doesn't straighten up, I'm intimidated by kids a bit but we'll make it work until you get your feet. ER, this is providing I ever get a place of my own but fer fux sake.
no subject
No I'm sorry he agreed to make a family unit with you and add a kid to it, he needs to pull his motherfucking weight, and that means emotionally too. Children have behavioral and emotional needs and whether he likes it or not they learn by observation and mimicry as much or more than by things we actively teach them.
If he doesn't have "time" for therapy he better make some. If he keeps refusing to address any of his behavior, I would take a week and take your son and go somewhere just to get a breather, and think about options. I know that is probably really impractical but hanging around endlessly to die by a thousand paper cuts won't work in the long run either. Trying to ascertain who is the most of the problem so that person can be the family scapegoat and everyone else can slack off on dealing with issues is only going to make all of you miserable and that's his current idea for dealing with this-- doesn't matter if that's not what he thinks his idea is, that's what he's doing so that's how he's handling it. It doesn't matter whose fault it is, you're a family and it's your joint responsibility, and he's supposed to be a grown-ass man with a son and he isn't doin' the do.
I'm kind of mad at him, obviously, heh. But seriously though, he's acting a right prat and he's going to fuck that poor kid up and what's worse he's going to fuck you up inside and dammit no way! I'll cut off his toes. He needs to grow a pair of ovaries and woman up, since being a man about it obviously isn't doing him any good HAHAHA.
You can run away and come live with me if he doesn't straighten up, I'm intimidated by kids a bit but we'll make it work until you get your feet. ER, this is providing I ever get a place of my own but fer fux sake.