becomingkate (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
becomingkate) wrote2012-09-07 05:23 pm
becomingkate) wrote2012-09-07 05:23 pm
Hi guys!
Well it does seem like I figured out the lj cut, even though I couldn't see that it worked for a little while.
Things are up to par here; my son is starting school (K) on Monday, I am back to my bus monitor job, and my husband is working as usual. The only thing is I think I am developing anxiety or giving myself an ulcer or something. I wake up every day and I have a stomach ache. Sometimes it goes away once I get on my van and get going, and sometimes it doesn't. I have a fear of having to use the bathroom while I'm in the middle of the city on the van or stuck in traffic or something--we're not really supposed to stop, since we gotta get kids to school and home again. It's sort of an irrational fear, but sort of not. It seems like a vicious cycle; I worry about needing the bathroom and I end up making myself sick over it.
Yesterday I felt fine but not so good today. Wed. morning I had to call in to work, it was so bad. I had to switch GP's so I have an appt. in October with my new one, but that's a ways away. I can hope that once my son goes to school some of the stress will be lifted off me, but I'll still have to deal with work, which is the least stressful thing I've done in a long time but is causing me a lot of issues anyway. I'm kind of sick of it. I want to be useful and have a job but my medical issues and psychological issues, if it really is just psychosomatic, are getting in the way.
The good thing is I have a long weekend because I took my son's first day of school off so I could see him get on the bus. I hope next week goes by fast. And the following weeks...lol
I really am a mess and the funny thing is I don't think anyone realizes it-except you guys now, dear readers. :P On paper I look pretty good. But I feel like a mess.
I really would have been happy being an independently wealthy single girl living on a tropical island somewhere with a drink in one hand and a hot person in the other. I think I missed the boat on that though. Darn.
Things are up to par here; my son is starting school (K) on Monday, I am back to my bus monitor job, and my husband is working as usual. The only thing is I think I am developing anxiety or giving myself an ulcer or something. I wake up every day and I have a stomach ache. Sometimes it goes away once I get on my van and get going, and sometimes it doesn't. I have a fear of having to use the bathroom while I'm in the middle of the city on the van or stuck in traffic or something--we're not really supposed to stop, since we gotta get kids to school and home again. It's sort of an irrational fear, but sort of not. It seems like a vicious cycle; I worry about needing the bathroom and I end up making myself sick over it.
Yesterday I felt fine but not so good today. Wed. morning I had to call in to work, it was so bad. I had to switch GP's so I have an appt. in October with my new one, but that's a ways away. I can hope that once my son goes to school some of the stress will be lifted off me, but I'll still have to deal with work, which is the least stressful thing I've done in a long time but is causing me a lot of issues anyway. I'm kind of sick of it. I want to be useful and have a job but my medical issues and psychological issues, if it really is just psychosomatic, are getting in the way.
The good thing is I have a long weekend because I took my son's first day of school off so I could see him get on the bus. I hope next week goes by fast. And the following weeks...lol
I really am a mess and the funny thing is I don't think anyone realizes it-except you guys now, dear readers. :P On paper I look pretty good. But I feel like a mess.
I really would have been happy being an independently wealthy single girl living on a tropical island somewhere with a drink in one hand and a hot person in the other. I think I missed the boat on that though. Darn.
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Hugs you bb.
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