becomingkate: (Default)
2017-09-20 01:46 pm

(no subject)

I feel like this font is abnormally big. Maybe it will autocorrect when I post it.

Classes (oh, now the font is smaller, lol) are interesting. I think I have already talked about most of them. I was ready to cry in Astronomy. I just couldn't wrap my head around the concept of the star sky rotating and eclipses and such. One of our assignments is actually a blog where you can communicate with the professor. So for me, with a confrontation issue, that is fantastic. I wrote my blog and mentioned I was confused. He said sometimes it can take weeks to really understand it. And not to toot my own horn but I am kind of grasping the idea that I'm smarter than the average college student. So I have to be patient. It made me think about my son and how he expects to understand everything right away and that made me smile and relax a little. I hope that by keeping in touch with the instructor he'll go easy on me. I'm not doing so great on the quizzes and labs yet so I hope he sees I'm trying.

Speaking of my son, he didn't pack a lunch today and I am a mean mom and none of his friends like me. I laughed. "I don't care if 10-year-olds like me," I told him. We were trying to get out the door and he asked me to make a sandwich for him. I said no, you can make your own. He was all ready besides that and we technically had lots of time. It isn't my fault he lies in bed for half an hour when his alarm goes off and then wants me to make his sandwich so he can get to school 25 minutes early and play with his friends before class. Right? We had plenty of time for him to make a sandwich. I said, some kids your age already know how to make a whole hot meal and you can't make a PB&J?  So he thought he hurt my feelings by saying his friends don't like me. To be honest, it does make me sad because I wanted to be "that mom" that kids like. But oh well. I can't wait until he tries to tell someone besides his friends that his mom is mean because she won't make his lunch for him when he's 10 years old.

It's partially my fault. I should have been teaching him how to cook since he was old enough to stand up. But by the time I started, he wasn't interested. I take for granted that I'm a good cook. It doesn't occur to me that it might be hard for some people.

Our 13th anniversary was a few days ago. It went okay, except I had class in the morning and evening, and it was the day after my mom's memorial party finally happened, so I was pretty wiped out. My husband took our anniversary off, so we went out to lunch and that was nice. He got me a pair of citrine earrings which are pretty but I don't have much that matches them because they're orange and I don't tend to wear yellow or orange. I think I have some red tops somewhere. I got him some coasters in the design of The Maze from Westworld. He didn't recognize the pattern when he opened them, so I had to explain it. LOL.

Mom's party went well. I call it a party because it really was. It was just a gathering at a restaurant/function room with passed canapes and then a pasta station where they made a plate to order for you. And of course a bar. People brought photos and there were tables to sit at and talk and eat. My mom's side of the family has a wry, sometimes morbid sense of humor. They have no problem making little jabs at people. There were a lot of comments of things like "Well, she sure did know what she wanted," in other words she was opinionated and wasn't afraid to tell you if she thought your opinion was stupid. So there was a lot of humor, good food and some people I hadn't seen in decades. My son was good-natured, especially for not knowing 90% of the people there. My dad and his wife came, and I felt bad that I didn't get to talk to them hardly at all because I was pulled aside by so many people. It was successful overall though.


becomingkate: (Default)
2017-09-09 06:05 pm

(no subject)

Another great quote from "If you don't pass this class you're a moran"

I had my first History class yesterday, we just went over the syllabus and then he let us go. It seems like it will be a fairly easy class. I am a bit worried about Astronomy on Monday, it's the only class I haven't been to yet this semester, and it just seems like a lot of work. I am also paranoid that I will miss something with my online class.

Tomorrow (oops, I mean Monday) I have English Lit again and I read the three stories that were assigned, and took some notes. I think I got the gist of all of them, and the glory of the internet is that you can look up anything and see if you were right, and get some other perspectives. By "right", I mean not totally off the mark--of course there is no right answer if you interpret something a certain way, but there is the generally accepted answers and then "woah, how did you come to that conclusion?")

I was fairly busy today putting together the slideshow for mom's memorial. Her sister mailed me some photos, and her boyfriend has been e mailing me photo attachments. Plus I am going up to my aunt's house Thursday to look at her pics. I found out they come out pretty well if I just take photos of photos with my phone which makes it easy to just put them in a PowerPoint. I have been a total bum hygenically though, as I did not put on real clothes. It's laundry day, and my favorite pair of jeans ripped across the butt, so I had nothing to wear. I ordered new jeans and did all the laundry, though.
becomingkate: (Default)
2017-09-05 09:50 am

(no subject)

I dropped off my son for his first day of 5th grade today. It was fairly uneventful. He is disappointed because he doesn't really have friends in his new class. I found out he doesn't like one of them because he doesn't play fair. The other one, I think is just sensitive and my son doesn't know how to handle that. Although my son can be sensitive too but in a different way. There is a new boy in his class who seems a bit wild, but we will see.

I logged into my online college course today and was met with an image that said "Keep calm and love llamas". I straight out burst out laughing. It's a Race Relations class and I think it will be very interesting, and of course, timely. I checked out the syllabus and it seems fairly heavy with information. Plus I have to learn how to navigate the online course. Well, the first assignment of reading the syllabus and online etiquette rules and e mailing the teacher isn't even due until the 10th, and I've already done it. I didn't go in and see if I could complete other assignments yet, but I'll do that later. I think the website records every time I log in, so I don't want to spam up the log with logins every hour, LOL. 

I still have not received my grade for Public Speaking. I e mailed the registrar to see if she submitted them at all. It took my Sociology 101 teacher about a week to submit his grades, but it's been a couple weeks now.

It's Suicide Prevention Month, so I've been more vocal on twitter about that. I kind of dislike how there is a month designated for things like that though, because as soon as the month is over, people stop talking about it. I plan to keep talking about it when the month is over. I even got involved in a discussion when one person was putting down another who was trying to raise money for shirts with a slogan. Person A said Shirt Person wasn't actually trying to help people, but just promote a product. I looked back on Shirt Person's twitter and they did in fact speak more about mental health besides promoting the shirt. It seemed like Person A was angry about their own situation and was lashing out at someone. I said that any attempt to promote awareness helps (which is actually funny because I usually dislike gimmicks like shirts and ice bucket challenges or whatever when you could be actually talking about the issue). But I kind of see how if you wear a shirt with a slogan, people will go google that slogan and find out more about the issue. I think really passive support like clicking Like on something isn't as helpful, but maybe if you also repost/retweet whatever you liked, you're doing something more active.

I often think about my Twitter evolution. I've gone from NKOTB enthusiast to cooking tips to political opinions to mental health promotion. And I think it is great that Twitter is that kind of platform.

So I just got a notification that I've received credit for my reply on the Race Relations assignment. Gotta love internet!
becomingkate: (Default)
2017-08-27 09:04 am

(no subject)

I went to my cousin's baby shower yesterday. It was fun! Everything went wrong on my way up, but ended up fine. First of all I went looking for those big bags that keep things hot or cold. I went to Target and couldn't find any. So I bought some bags of ice and just planned to put them around the food in my trunk and cover it all with a blanket. I went to pick up the food platters I ordered at the restaurant/market I last worked at, which is a challenge for me to even walk into because of the memories and circumstances that led me to quit there (it was all timed around the era of J). I am still embarrassed about how I left that place. Thankfully nobody recognized me, and if they did they didn't say anything. I spoke to both the FOH and BOH manager.

So what happened was, they lost my order. They put it in the wrong week of orders. So they had to make the charcuterie and dessert trays on the fly. I sat and waiting and the man sitting next to me tried to make conversation. So already I was practically tapped out for social interactions and I hadn't even gotten to the party.

The platters came out beautifully and everyone raved. They make their own meats and desserts, and have an excellent variety of cheeses. But I was running late already and that set me back about half an hour. Then I got stuck in traffic. I got there around noon when I really wanted to get there at like 10:30. But everything went fine after that.

 At social events, I wish I had an assistant (preferably Emily Blunt from The Devil Wears Prada, sans cold) who would whisper in my ear when people approach. "That is so and so, she is so and so's wife." That would be brilliant. Because I hate standing next to people, making conversation and then finding out who they are and wishing I had said something else. I mean, I also wish people had the courtesy, if it's been years since I've seen them, to come up and say, "Kate! I don't know if you remember me, I'm..." and reintroduce themselves. Because yes, it is easy for them to remember me since they have known me since I was little, and knew my mom, and watched me grow up. They are not as significant to me. I feel like I would hurt their feelings if I said I'm sorry, I don't remember who you are.

I am just relieved I at least recognized mom's hairdresser (a close friend of the family) and was able to thank her for doing mom's hair during her illness. That meant a lot to my mom. 

It just sucks living a couple hours away from that part of the family. It's a pain to come up, it's a pain to get back, I'm out of the loop most of the time. 

In other news, I just remembered that I had a dream about an ex boyfriend a couple nights ago. It was funny because I was talking with my husband and I don't know how it came up but the decision to marry him came around and I said something like "Well, it was you or Z." And my husband laughed.

It really did come down to the two of them. When I met my husband, I had already been dating Z for a while. I guess I had known Z for about a year. When it got more serious with my husband, I was making pro/con lists like it was my job. And I went with my head. It was more practical to exclusively date my husband. Z was more of a free spirit and I wasn't sure what kind of future he would hold. Although my husband also got off to a rocky start with jobs, I could tell he was more sensible and responsible than Z. However I know from facebook stalking (don't judge me) that Z is more into the issues that I stand for than my husband is. Mental health, equal rights, etc.

So anyway I dreamed that I ran into Z somewhere and I said to him, "I was just talking about you the other day!" LOL.

Oh yes, I forgot. I'd had a couple drinks one night and I made my journal public. I think my LJ journal is still friends locked, though.
becomingkate: (Default)
2017-08-25 07:00 pm

(no subject)

 My son got his class and teacher assignment, finally. He is getting the newly-hired 5th grade teacher and he's not terribly close with any of the boys in his class. He's not with his best friend which he's bummed about, but I do hope that not being so buddy-buddy with his classmates will help his focus.

I hope he doesn't get too discouraged with this placement. I hope that the new teacher works well with him.

Meanwhile, I also looked up my professors for the Fall, ( is an awesome website) and it looks like the only one that might be a challenge is the astronomy. There are some funny reviews though, like "OMG I had to show up and study for this class" LOL. I'm a bit worried because a lot of people said that there was also online work for the astronomy class. But we will see. I have a pretty light schedule, with two weekdays of no classes at all, so I hope that will allow me the time I need.

I went back to Toastmasters last night and signed up to be a member. I'm a bit nervous but I think it will really help me. Last night was a comedic speech competition. Two guys from the group went and they were pretty good. I think it is hard to be funny during a rehearsed speech. I have no idea what I'd talk about. 
becomingkate: (Default)
2017-08-23 03:05 pm

(no subject)

 Today was the last public speaking class. At the beginning of class not everyone was there yet and she said to those of us there, "Well, I am glad you all are here because I want to tell you, you aren't taking a final." And then when a couple other people came in she asked to speak to them. So I am thinking maybe if their grade was questionable, like they didn't do great on the midterm or on the speeches, maybe they had to take the final after the rest of us left to show her they at least learned something. But I got A's on three of my speeches and the midterm and then of course the one B for the first speech. She said I had improved so much. I told her I went to Toastmasters and she was just delighted. She said to say hi to the president of the group for her.

I was the only one who made food for class. I mean around the beginning of the course she said we'd all have a party on the last day but then nobody brought anything but me. I kind of had a feeling people wouldn't but I was glad I did. I was actually afraid I didn't have enough, but I did. I just made a simple fruit cobbler. It turned out great.

I guess she kind of knew if you did well on the midterm you were going to ace the final.

I was surprised some people said they were going to take her English Lit class. I don't think I could sit through another class with her, lol. Especially for 3 months instead of 6 weeks! She was easy, but I don't think the English Lit class would be as forgiving.

So now I have just under 2 weeks before Fall starts. Time to get organized!

becomingkate: (Default)
2017-08-21 07:48 pm

(no subject)

 The eclipse was very cool today. We were not in the path of 100% eclipse but it was great to see nonetheless. I took my son to the zoo where they were giving glasses with zoo admission. They only had 90 pairs but we were early enough to get one. I was really glad we did it.

I saw a woman there who looked so much like J I am stilll not 100% sure it wasn't her. She had longer hair, and was skinnier, but I haven't seen her in 9 months, so it completely could have been her. I didn't want to keep staring though, so I can't be sure. LOL. What really made me think it was her is that she recently changed her profile pic (yeah, so sometimes I look to see if she has unblocked me but all I can see is her profile pic on our old messages) and I thought it was a very old pic because she was skinner and had longer hair. So either that was her or I just had that image on my brain and that woman matched the description. Anyway, it was really odd.

Wednesday is my last Public Speaking class. It's a good thing because my professor is driving me nuts. She was late today (she usually is) and kept going on about how she really shouldn't have come in today. I just don't think that is good for morale. I mean she knows what she's talking about, but she is so unprofessional it drives me crazy. Then she was like, so we can do the speeches and then everyone can leave, unless you all want to learn something else? and I guess my poker face wasn't very good because she was like "Oh thanks for the support, Kate." LOL. 

I feel like I got an A on all my speeches except the first one, where she gave everyone a B (and I was so nervous anyway), and I got an A on my midterm, so I really hope I get an A.  I am taking some more challenging classes in the fall so I could use the boost to my GPA.

Grading has got to be the hardest thing though, especially in something subjective like public speaking. Everyone is really doing their best, I think, short of a couple people who don't seem prepared sometimes. So how do you grade someone's personal best? It's not like studying will help you much in this case.
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-19 11:49 am

(no subject)

 Meme: A picture of someone or something that has had an impact on you.

More under the cut )
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-18 03:14 pm

(no subject)

 People are like, "It's national drink wine day! I'm having some wine tonight!" and I'm all like "...I needed a national holiday as an excuse to drink wine?"

My son got Coraline out of the library today and I didn't bother to crack it open until we were checking out and we realized it was a graphic novel version.  Not bad, but I would have preferred the actual book.  He's in the other room with his nose in it right now and he's almost done.  Kid reads more than I do.

I picked up a non-fiction book about the decline of violence over the ages and my husband is going to read it too, and we'll talk about it, so maybe we'll have something to talk about for once.  The author, Steven Pinker, sounds really interesting and since I'm into psychology I might like his other books too.  This one is 800 pages long, yikes.

Gotta go, he finished Coraline and wants to play.
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-16 03:39 pm

(no subject)

 Day 6. Favorite superhero and why.

I've seen many superhero movies but never read any comics and honestly I probably would have skipped all the movies if my husband didn't like them.  We just saw Superman 2, the one with Andrew Garfield and I liked it more than I thought I would.  I adore Emma Stone, and I thought Andrew Garfield was good.  I liked his dorky, awkward style.

I've seen the X Men Movies, the Batman movies, one of the Superman movies, the Spiderman movies and the Avengers movies (and all the movies with those characters: Hulk, Captain America, etc.)

It's hard to pick.  I like Captain America for his looks and his old fashioned style.  I like Spiderman because he seems real.  He seems like a regular guy in a costume, rather than a guy who is really a superhero.  He's not an alien or a guy from a different time or a mutant.  Well, I guess he kind of is a mutant. 

My son prefers Marvel over DC.  He just finished playing Lego Marvel Superheroes on the xbox and he loved it.
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-15 07:02 pm

(no subject)

 Now, granted, I haven't watched her speech, but it's truly making me angry that Ellen Page's decision to come out is being heralded as "brave".  It's a sad sad world when it's a brave thing to tell people who you are.  I've always said, I look forward to the day when "coming out" is not even a thing.  Celebrities coming out shouldn't make the papers any more than a friend or a neighbor coming out.

I understand that it is a good thing when celebrities come out as gay or bi and help take a stand with the normal people of the world who don't have the reach that a celebrity does.  But I guess I'm having a problem with it being called brave.

What really is brave is when you choose something and you don't make an announcement about it and you just live it.  Being true to yourself is brave.

Whoever was a fan of Ellen Page and is not a fan all of a sudden now, was never truly a fan of her work.  You were a fan of whatever version of her that you cooked up in her head.  If you're a guy maybe you had delusional fantasies about her and now you feel that's been ripped away from you.  Just a heads up, you have just as much of a chance with her now than you ever did. Zero.

Like if my sneaking suspicion that pretty much all of the members of nkotb are die hard Catholics were confirmed (they are smart and don't talk about their religion or politics), and I stopped liking their music because of that...that doesn't make any sense.

Am I right?
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-13 08:56 am

(no subject)

 So when I announced the crisis intervention thing to my group of moms on facebook, I didn't really expect to get silence.  And that kind of thing just makes me realize maybe they're not really my friends.  I mean, they can spout parenting advice, talk all day about how to do this and that and lament about their husbands and kids and jobs, and then I tell them about a project I'm doing and all I get is a couple likes.  No replies at all.

You know I've had uneasy feelings about that group for a while now.  I just don't quite fit in, I don't think.  They're probably not really impressed with this volunteer job that mostly younger people probably take, kids in college who are interested in counseling and psychology.

Well whatever, it's out there now.  It's not that I need anyone's approval.  I'm happy to be doing this whether anyone pats me on the back for it or not.  It's just sort of embarrassing when you write up a heartfelt post on something you're doing that's important to you and nobody even says anything.

FWIW, they have been very supportive of me since I found out about my mom, and have asked me how she's doing periodically.  I just can't figure them out sometimes and I'm very disenchanted with them right now.

Here's another meme question:

A habit you wish you didn't have.

Eating junk.

That's it! I mean, I know certain things are horrible for you.  Reports come out that certain things are barely fit for human consumption and they don't bother me.  I have no idea why.  I'm pretty sure my dog's food is better quality than some of the food we eat.

It's like, I know a good piece of fish or a good soup or anything home made is going to taste better than a bowl of chips and Tostitos queso, but I can't get myself out of the habit.  I partially blame it on my parents who didn't let me even try fast food or junk food or even soda for a very long time.  I think once I moved out of the house I went crazy on it because I hadn't gotten used to it as a kid or teenager.  But then, if I'd eaten it since I was a kid, I'd probably still be eating it too.  I don't know.  It's just sad because I'm a good cook and I could pretty much make anything I wanted to eat but I'd rather go for the quick snacks in the pantry and the fridge and grab something from fast food on my way home than think about making something.

becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-11 03:09 pm

(no subject)

 I don't know if one of you donated anonymously to my crisis intervention training page--I'm pretty sure it's one of you since you're the only people I've told about it--but if one of you did, thank you, and thanks for the kind note you left. :)
I'm still struggling with the idea of asking for help in raising the funds (I now need to raise $240 to continue to the training phase) but I have a select group of friends (besides you all) who I think I might ask for help.  

So now I will properly ask you guys as well, if you've got even a dollar to spare, you can do it here, but please don't feel obligated.

(link removed)

You can look at my other posts tagged 'crisis intervention' if you want to read back on the application process and the skype interview I had.  It all kind of came in the middle of my cat getting really sick and eventually dying, and finding out my mom has cancer so I put it on the back burner for a while, but it is still nagging at me back there, and that tells me that I should be pursuing it.
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-11 01:50 pm

(no subject)

 I developed strep throat over the weekend, and I'm not really sure where that came from because my son and husband don't have it, and now I'm afraid they will.  I started feeling icky on Saturday but still managed to make it through the day and even went out to dinner with my husband and had some bad food and two Jack and diet cokes.  Then started to feel shitty that night which sucked because our son wasn't home and we could have drank and ate more and watched stupid loud movies and listened to loud music and I just wasn't up for it.

I slept all day Sunday and all night, and got up late on Monday to go to the doctor.  Fortunately my husband has Mondays off so he was able to help me.  They gave me abx for strep and I started feeling better really fast.  I have to take them for 10 days so I should be well soon.

The funny thing is, I felt like a bladder infection was coming on, too, and since they gave me abx, those symptoms have diminished.  I'm so happy I could explode. (hope I don't though)

So just a heads up folks, if your neck gets all swollen (like literally you touch the sides of your neck right under your jaw and they're all puffy) and you ache all over and you've slept for a day and a night, RUN to the doctor (I know, it hurts) and tell them you think you have strep.  They don't even have to take blood, they did the throat swab but that's nothing.

I felt so much better today that I actually went to the grocery store, finished putting together my mom's package for Valentine's day and sent that off.  I was torn between a funny card and a serious card.  I went with the serious card because jeez, it might be her last Valentine's day.  I didn't want to end it with a Mickey Mouse card and a dumb joke.  But now I feel bad because she's going to read that card and know that I was thinking this may be her last.  I guess it sucks either way, right?

(I feel like I need to add a disclaimer that I did check on the length of being contagious with strep--apparently you're not contagious after you've been on meds for 24 hours. So I'm good. Not gonna make anyone at the grocery store or PO sick.)

I got an invitation from my cousin to my aunt's 60th surprise birthday party which I'm looking forward to. I hope it'll be a happy time and not overshadowed by my mom's health.

My son and husband went to the Lego movie yesterday and they both enjoyed it, so if you've been wondering if you should go, you probably should.

becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-11 10:20 am

(no subject)

Day 02 - The meaning behind your LiveJournal name.

I kind of love explaining this one, because the meaning still rings true for me.

When I
create journal and blog names it's usually something meaningful to me, or it's some shortened version of my actual name, like KateS which I've used a couple times, or katesu, but when I dare to be more creative I come up with something meaningful, something from my past like daylilies or raspberries. In the case of becomingkate, it's an ever-evolving sentiment.

I used to want to become something. I used to think that someday, I'd just wake up and be the adult version of myself. I never really asked anyone to help guide me into this new phase of my life. I
just expected it to happen.

When I
created this account (I originally created this name at livejournal, if you're reading this at DW), I think I was still in that mindset, that someday I'd become who I was meant to be. And then I realized, life is always about evolving and changing and becoming different versions of yourself. It doesn't just happen and it doesn't always stay the same.

So, I
think I am always becoming Kate.
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-07 09:57 pm

(no subject)

 Stolen from 
[ profile] 1_rhiannon_1 

Day 01 - A recent picture of you and five interesting facts about you.
Day 02 - The meaning behind your LiveJournal name.

Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends.
Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn't have.
Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you've been to.
Day 06 - Favorite super hero and why.
Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 09 - Something you're proud of in the past few days.
Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends.
Day 12 - How you found out about LJ and why you made one.
Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 14 - A picture of you and your family.
Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play.
Day 16 - Another picture of yourself.
Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them.
Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/ being with in the future.
Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else.
Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot.
Day 24 - A letter to your parents.
Day 25 - What I would find in your bag.
Day 26 - What you think about your friends.
Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge.
Day 28 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned.
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-03 06:05 pm

(no subject)

 WARNING, this is pretty deep and heavy stuff about cancer and the grief process and all that, so don't read it if you're not up for it.  Not a problem.  You can look for the 'cancer' tag and avoid all those if you'd like.

When my mom's boyfriend called me about a week ago (a week ago tomorrow, actually) to tell me it was serious cancer and that she has 6-12 months to live, I didn't feel anything.

My cat had died only two hours before that phone call.  That bothered me more than anything because I literally watched her die.  I sat next to her after she died, because I kept swearing I saw her belly rise and fall, or a small twitch of movement, but it was every time I looked away.  When I looked back at her, I'd see nothing.  After a long time of this, I finally accepted that she was gone.

When I got the call about my mom, it didn't seem real.  It seemed like nothing had changed.  They still didn't know where the cancer originated, so how could they know how bad it is and how long she has to live?  My husband and I watched funny tv shows that night and I didn't cry.  Not even about the cat, which was weird because I cried like crazy for the other two who passed away.

As a day or two went by, I felt something.  Anger.  It wasn't what I expect to feel, but there it was.  How did this dare to happen?  My mom and I were both content, finally.  I was content staying at home, not doing much of anything except care for my son who is honestly pretty self-sufficient, if you tell him what to do enough times.  I had felt unsettled lately, and that's why I'd started the blog and the imalive volunteer process.  I was maybe moving towards some permanent hobbies, possibly a path to a career or at least ways to occupy my time.  My mother had a job putting together the newsletter for a church.  She has a boyfriend who visits her every weekend and they do the hobbies they enjoy.  Gardening, antique shopping, hanging out on the beach, cooking.  

I always assumed my mother would just grow old and pass away.  There's no history of cancer in her family.  She doesn't eat super healthy or get a lot of exercise but she stays away from most processed food and I don't think she's had fast food in her life, except maybe as a kid.  

It was bothersome to see my mom's brother and his wife very upset when I went with them and my mom on Thursday to an appointment.  I didn't feel like that was helpful to my mom--that they were already essentially mourning her.  I mean, I guess I am always thinking that things can always change.  Some people bounce back unexpectedly.  Sometimes doctors are wrong.  Either way, I don't think my mom wants everyone around her to be sad at this time.  I guess I've never been comfortable around sick people and I want to be optimistic and act like things will be okay.  I know they probably won't be, in this case, but can't we pretend?  Does it really hurt to just carry on as if nothing has changed, aside from treatment and whatever changes she has to make based on how she feels?  I'd think, if she really doesn't have long to go, that she'd like to spend her time being as happy and normal as she can.  I can't assume that, though.  

At the same time, I just want to kick myself in the pants and cry like everyone else.
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-02-01 06:46 pm

(no subject)

 Instead of talking about all the depressing stuff going on, I've got a kind of cool story to tell.  Nothing big, just a little serendipitous thing that happened recently.

So a few days ago I finally got around to watching the new Flowers in the Attic that I had recorded off Lifetime.  Same story, slightly different ending, still just as unsatisfying.  And disturbing.  So, the kids are referred to as "Dresden Dolls" in the beginning, right? Because they are so blonde and pretty and "perfect" (not).

So a couple days later I finally had a couple hours in the car to myself and I cracked open my Evening with Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer CD that I got for Christmas.  Awesome stuff.  Some things, I was like, meh, I think I will be skipping this one next time around, and by the end of the bit I was HOOKED.  Gaiman's stories creep up on you, and Palmer's style is sort of an acquired taste, but I think I love her.  She had me in tears, both happy and sad ones, depending on the song.

So anyway, I looked up Amanda Palmer because she said she'd been a rock star but I had no idea what she'd done before what she does now.  Those of you who know of her, know where this is going.

I looked her up, and not only is she from Boston, but she was in a band out of Boston in the 90's.  Well, a duo really.  Called...The Dresden Dolls.  :D  I actually knew and liked one of their songs back in the day!  Coin Operated Boy.

There is nothing like thinking you've discovered an artist only to find out you knew who she was 20 years ago.
becomingkate: (Default)
2014-01-29 01:30 pm

(no subject)

 I thought about posting on my facebook page, but thought better of it because I really don't give two shits about the person I saw who was laughing about the weather situation in the south.  I don't need to be passive agressive to someone I barely know or care about.  I save that for those I know :D

I have to admit I did shake my head when I saw my former boss, who now lives in Nashville, post a couple weeks ago about how his daughters' school cancelled because they got a dusting of snow, but then another friend in Georgia (who is also formerly from Massachusetts) posted a traffic map today with all sorts of alerts on it and essentially said people are stuck on the road because they didn't properly cancel school or work openings and now everyone is on the road at the same time because they finally did let school and work out early and things are icing up real bad.  It was a new perspective for me on just how dangerous snow is when you're not prepared for it.

We may call them amateurs but that's exactly it.  The north is prepared for this.  We sell winter clothes and tires that can handle ice and snow, we have plowing systems and school and work cancelation policies in place.  The south does not, so they have to plan accordingly.  It sounds like, in this case, they did not.

It's not funny.  Imagine it happening to you, or your kid.  Is it funny anymore?