becomingkate

In English Lit, we have two young adult novels assigned. The topic of my class is Coming of Age, so it makes sense that there would be a couple books aimed at the part of society that is actually coming of age.

These two books are my favorite of the course. We have read many styles of books, starting with the old standard Catcher in The Rye and moving on to more diverse stories, such as that of a Cuban family, a Chinese family and a family from the Dominican Republic. (most or all of the members of these families had come to America, and were trying to figure out how to make their way in the American life while holding on to their roots.)

I'm realizing that a common theme is "having your shit together". To these families, becoming an adult means taking responsibility for your life, not letting someone else run it anymore, coming to mature conclusions about yourself and the people around you. That you can't just have plans and expect them to happen. When you're a kid you can say "I want to go to the zoo" and someone will take you there. So it makes sense that as you grow up, you might have ideas and even plans for what you want to do, but you struggle to carry them out because someone has always done it for you. I think that is something I've suffered from in particular. I always had dreams but I had difficulty carrying them out because I come from a place where people made a lot of things happen for me.

I find that I am so comfortable in this school setting because I have dreams and goals for my school years and I'm successful in carrying them out. I have big dreams that will come at the end of my schooling, but if I only had those, I would probably fail. Short term goals are very important to me because they keep me feeling motivated and validated. They make me feel like I can reach that end goal. I think I'm slowly realizing I have things to contribute to society. For so long I was happy being invisible. I'd go to cooking jobs and not say a word and to be honest, not do a great job. I just didn't have any goals or motivation. I should have been more self-motivated but I also needed that outside validation and well, cooking is not a super validating career.

So, I think it's time for me to come of age and get my shit together.