becomingkate

As I thought, Heather's not going on the cruise. My husband suggested I message Jackie, who I have met up with along with Heather a few times for NKOTB events. They're both from Philadelphia. I like her alright, but we never really talk. I just felt awkward saying "Hey, I know I haven't asked you the time of day since I saw you last, but you wanna room together on the cruise?" There are other women from Philly who are all friends that Heather used to feel like she was a part of but now feels out of the loop because nobody told her that one of them left her husband (and I don't think they talk to her at all, really). I didn't know either, but I don't talk to any of them. I think I mentioned it before, Heather seemed to think they were all good friends, but I never really felt that way about them, so I didn't really feel bad when none of them talked to me aside from when we'd get together for a concert or whatever. I feel like at this point everyone has their NKOTB buddies and for me to try to tag along (again) with a group would just feel sad for me.

So I guess I'm not going on the 10th cruise. My husband said he would go, but we'd have to find someone to watch our son for 4 days. I don't really feel like putting that obligation on anyone. If my in-laws were in a better situation I would be okay with that, but my MIL is in and out of the hospital because she won't get help or proper meds.

I could go by myself but then the other ladies would catch wind of it and probably feel bad and then I'd feel bad and everyone would feel bad. I really need a group to hang with anyway. You can't eat dinner by yourself and you need a group for the photo op and it just wouldn't be fun anyway.

 Eeeee
Joey McIntyre's doing a performance at the Boston tree lighting on Thursday! I HAVE TO go.  This is why I could never leave Massachusetts.  Being able to go to these things I hear about last minute is something I'd miss too much.  I have to ask my husband if he wants to go or I have to find a way to get me and my son there.  I HATE driving in Boston and I have no idea if the MBTA is convenient to Boston Common.  I can find out, but would rather have my husband drive us in.  He's on the treadmill, so I have to wait! Ahhhh.  *bouncing in chair*

Thanksgiving went well.  I made sweet potato casserole that came out really good, and the food my MIL made was great. The turkey was really good.  I hate the word moist, but it was.  My son wheedled his way into staying overnight, so my husband and I are just chilling.  Too bad everything is closed today.  I could've sworn the liquor stores were open, because I wanted to get a bottle of wine.  I thought the inlaws would serve some, so I was looking forward to that, but they didn't, and now I'm left wanting some.  Oh well.

 Calling my parents about the trip wasn't so bad.  I really don't mind talking to them, except my mom was saying something weird about how she thinks I was sick because I'm lactose intolerant.  Um, it was a chicken salad. (not even like a chopped chicken salad with mayo, but a salad with chicken on top.  She kept saying something about milkshakes and I was like, I didn't have any milkshakes...I never drink milkshakes.  Still not sure what she was talking about.  But I was saying we probably wouldn't go back until our son is a lot older, if at all, and she kept telling me we shouldn't keep doing the same things.  She said the same thing about the nkotb cruises, and how we keep going to see Wicked the musical...she has a real problem with sticking to the same things.  I don't really understand it.  If you know what you like then why would you deprive yourself of it?  Now I can understand something you didn't really love, you don't have to do it again.  But if you love something of course you're going to do it again.  I don't go on vacation to expand my horizons, I go to have a good time and it helps if you already know what's a good time.

Anyway, speaking of nkotb cruises, I've been thinking of doing it again if they have one.  Problem is I don't think H, the girl I'd room with really wants to go.  We didn't have a great time the last time but I had an amazing time on my first cruise (and that's where I met H).  But I think if I said I was thinking about it, she'd go so I'd have her to hang out with, and I don't want to influence her in that way.  I think I'm just feeling nkotb withdrawl because the tour's over and I'm not sure what's going to happen next.  We'll have to see, I guess.

So just out of curiosity, I looked up our family therapist on facebook.  I found her, but all her pics are of her kids. I guess you'd want to remain kind of neutral and anonymous in case nosy clients like me look you up.  But I also saw that she's friends with one of my husband's friend's wife.  Not that it really matters. I really don't see this turning into a friendship unless we stop the therapy, and even then, she'd probably know way too much about me and us as a family and that would be awkward.  It just figures, I finally find a local nkotb fan and she's our therapist.  My life likes to screw with me like that. LOL

 One of the best birthday wishes of the day? From Dan Wood, Danny Wood's father.  He's so nice to wish all his facebook friends happy birthday, especially on his own son's birthday!

I got two Doctor Who shirts, tickets to Wicked (I'm honestly getting a little tired of it, but my husband knows I love it so he falls back on it and it's cool, but he always seems to catch on to things as I'm getting tired of them, LOL), an alarm clock that glows brighter gradually so you wake up naturally, a Jamie Oliver cookbook from my aunt, and a necklace from my dad and stepmom.

Tonight my husband says I get to pick where we go out to dinner and I can't decide! I like the seafood place nearby, but we went there last time we went out.  Then there's Legal Seafoods, or the Mexican place that will surely upset my stomach for the next two days, or Not Your Average Joe's, which snootily asked us if we had a reservation last time we walked in.  I'm sorry, you're not that good.

Ah crap, I was going to try to go on the treadmill early today so I have more time before my son gets home.  Ta ta!

Okay, I know I generally try to be positive but I'm just having a problem with a "friend" I have, we'll call her H. For a while I wasn't sure why she didn't have more friends.  She seemed really nice and bubbly and positive and we became fast friends.  We met first on twitter, I don't know how I found her but we're both nkotb fans so I was probably friends with one of her friends or maybe she added me.  Anyway, I actually met her on Cruise 2012 after I had discovered that the "friends" I had originally met up with were not really my type of person.  I happened to meet H on the beach the day they totally ditched me when they were walking down the beach and I stayed behind to buy a water and they walked off without me.  I saw H and I said "Aren't you @(her twitter name) and she said yes and I introduced myself.  It was a rare moment of outgoingness for me and I was forever glad I did it.

Until recently.  She has just been super negative, talking about people behind their back, stalking her former friends who ditched her when she had a mental breakdown last year right after we got home from the cruise where I met her.  And I can understand how pissed she'd be when she found out people she thought were her friends abandoned her when they found out she was not mentally stable.  I mean how shitty is that, mental issues are like the number one issue in the country and yet people get treated like they have some rare contagious disease.  But whatever.

So I can see how H would be pissed at these former friends but she kind of makes it her hobby to check in on their twitter timelines and tell me "Oh so and so says this" or "So and so looks too skinny these days" and I'm like, who freaking cares?

Then she even judges people she's still friends with.  She's like "I have to warn you about _____, she seems to be a little obsessed with NKOTB. She said she hoped we'd run into Donnie when we go to Wahlburgers and Alma Nove (two restaurants that are in Massachusetts and owned by the Wahlbergs, we plan to go to them later this month when she and her friend come up for the concert)".  So I'm thinking, so? I hope we run into him too! Or maybe one of the other guys! Why is this obsessive?  It seems natural to me to hope to see one of the famous owners of a restaurant.  It's not like she said "We should sleep outside the restaurants so we can maybe run into Donnie". 

I just...don't know how to deal with this.  She's staying in my town for a couple days around the concert so we can hang out and I hope she doesn't act like this.  I just don't get how people can be so judgmental.  And gee, I hope her friend isn't totally obsessed with NKOTB. That would be awful. LOL

It was interesting this morning to open the door to walk my son to the bus and see snow.  Oh hello snow!  It was kind of pretty because there is none on the ground and it was just kind of floating around in the air, kind of like a magical Christmas movie.  Anyway.

The ground is still soaked from all the snow melting, and then the rain.  Always a lovely combination.  My husband and I had to take turns staying up 2 nights ago to get the secondary pump going when the water got too high in the basement, and then shutting it off so it wouldn't burn out.  Rinse and repeat.  I stayed up until about 12:15 and then my husband got up around 1 and stayed with it until 2 or 3 in the morning.  Not great on the first day he had to get up at 6 for his new, earlier shift at work.

I've tried to be more productive.  My husband gets home later but is more tired due to the earlier wake up time, so I try to just get things done around the house.  I'm doing a load of laundry every day, something I should have started doing years ago, so it doesn't pile up and make us do it all weekend.  Now that my husband works Saturdays I'll have to think up more things to do with my son--thankfully it'll be warm soon so we can start doing things outside again.  

Not that it gets all that bad here-my midwestern friends will laugh when I say I don't want to go outside if it's below 40, at best--but I really don't like the cold.  My parents used to keep the house unbearably cold.  If I have to wear more than one layer in the house, it's too cold.  I'm not gonna "put on a sweater!" as my mom would suggest, or go soak my hands in a sink full of hot water.  Seriously, I used to have to do that.  And it wasn't that we were tight on money.  My parents just believed in saving it even when they didn't really have to.  So now I revel in the fact that I can turn the heat to what's comfortable to me, and wear just a long sleeved t shirt or a comfortable soft sweater and not be freezing.  My husband wears short sleeves in the house all winter and I'm always just a touch cold so long sleeves work for me.  The temperature is actually one thing we never argue about.  


Oh yeah! So I'm going to the NKOTB album release show in Boston later this month.  I'm still not sure exactly what it will be like, but I know it's not in a club setting so it won't be all dancey and stuff.  I can't stand club dancing, mostly because I can't dance.  I hope it'll just be them putting on a small show.  

I bought 2 tickets, and I guess I'm going with my husband because my friend H from Philly sounded kind of tentative about it.  She's coming in May to go to a show with me in CT, so I think she probably decided she couldn't come for this one as well.  She takes care of her mother and hates her job and has a lot of other stress going on.  Frankly I worry about her a bit.  She had a mental breakdown almost 2 years ago now and I know she's prone to depression and I just worry.  I just hope she can still come to the show in May. 

Had a sort of weird conversation online last night with a sort of-friend from church-as much as you can be friends with someone you rarely hang out with outside of church but who is perfectly nice and you could see yourself being friends, but never like, invites you to do stuff.  She made my son's birthday cake this year and I went with her to a concert once.  She's always very bubbly and funny and just cool.

And while I'm talking about this, can I just mention that I was standing right there at church the other day when a group of other "friends" of this sort was trading phone numbers and making plans and nobody included me.  Didn't these people learn in middle school...no, KINDERGARTEN, that that's rude?  So that was awkward, but I digress.

Anyway so this woman, we'll call her M, messaged me out of the blue and asked me if I was going on the nkotb tour.  I said yes I was going with a friend to one of the dates at Mohegan Sun.  I asked M if she was thinking of going to Boston (it's closer).  She said no, she wanted to go to Mohegan too.  She said only opening night was available now and I said oh that would be cool if you go to opening night!

At this point I wasn't sure if she was sort of backhandedly asking me to go with her.  She said "I want my husband to get me tickets but I have nobody to go with and I don't want to go alone."  Okay...  So I said, "I might know someone. LOL"  M laughed it off and said she wasn't sure if she could afford tix and I was like well, just make sure whoever you go with can pay you back.  I don't know if she was asking me to buy her ticket, too, or what?  

So I decided, if M's going to beat around the bush I'm going to be straightforward.  I straight up said "If I go with you I can pay for my ticket."  I was having a margarita and I felt bold.  I mean I know she doesn't hate me and it's just a concert so it's not like she has to talk to me all that much, if it gets awkward, and hey I've done the whole "tag along with someone at a concert" thing and it's not that bad.

 At the same time, I was looking at facebook and I saw one of our other mutual "friends" had commented to M that she wanted to go, too.  So then I felt dumb and I said "If you're already going with someone else I could tag along" which was REALLY stupid, so then I said "Not as a third wheel thing, but if you're going with a group I'd love to come."  (Did I mention I've lost whatever social graces I ever had?)   She said "We'll see."  

SO WHAT EXACTLY WAS THE POINT OF THE CONVERSATION!?

I'm thinking (hoping) she's sometimes just as socially awkward as I am sometimes.

 I'm excited! I thought of a new way to keep myself busy on twitter.  I've started posting cooking tips.  Simple tips I take for granted.  I've been thinking a lot lately about people who can't cook.  My friend told me she burns rice every time she cooks it.  I kept telling her she needs to turn down the heat more and she finally did it and it worked.

I really think cooking is something everyone should know how to do.  I try to involve my son whenever I cook.  Even if it's just helping me open cans or using a butter knife to help me cut things, I like him to see the process and know what goes into what's on the table.  My mother cooked with me from a young age.  She used to make pies a lot and she'd give me the scraps from the crust and I'd cut out my own little pie dough cookies and she'd bake them and sprinkle them with cinnamon sugar.  I can still picture the kitchen from the house we moved out of when I was 9.

If you'd like to follow me, I'm @bhcookbook.  I talk a lot to and about NKOTB.  They're the reason I'm there in the first place.  But I'm trying to branch out with the cooking tips.  

Okay so as I was writing this I decided to check the cookbook's e mail account.  I got a note from the woman I've been speaking with about the cookbook and she says fall at the earliest is the soonest they'll be thinking about a cookbook (after the tour).  I'm SO happy she told me this, this means she's taking me seriously, I think!  GAH!