(no subject)
Jul. 2nd, 2013 02:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
becomingkateI'm getting restless again. I want something to happen but I don't know what or how to make it happen. I want things to change in a major way but I feel like the only one I can directly affect by changing myself is my son. My husband is a lost cause and I'm tired of covering for it. I can forget about this "united parental unit" bullshit and call out my husband when I think he's being a dick to our son, or me. I'm so tired of putting up with it for the sake of looking like we're in agreement when in fact we are not. I'm tired of thinking, well this is what my husband would do, when I'm choosing how to react to something our son is doing. I wish that he would in fact back off when it comes to parenting like he enjoys telling everyone he does. "Oh my wife is the one who's home with him so I let her make the decisions" He doesn't actually do it though. He tries to enforce rules I don't support. I don't support finishing your dinner if you don't like it or you're not hungry. You wouldn't do that as an adult so why do people make their kids do it? It's just a power thing. "Finish this or no dessert" totally backfires because of course if they don't finish it they're going to be hungry later. And again you wouldn't deprive yourself of a snack later just because you weren't hungry or didn't like your dinner, would you? How does that even make sense?
I don't support dragging our kid out after a day of school or a day of camp because you need paint or the umpteenth gardening item at Home Depot or because you want to go to Target but nobody else does. At the same time I don't want our son to run our lives and think he can get everything he wants. I feel like I'm thinking too hard about this. I wish I could start over or get a fresh look somehow. I think my husband and I are both way too controlling and uptight and I have no idea how to fix that. And our dear son doesn't even complain about it to other people. He wants to impress people so badly that he always says things are fine and then we come home and have a big disagreement and I'm like, this is what I'm talking about. We all went to family therapy the other day and he looked so well adjusted I felt like an idiot for being there. My husband and I are the ones with the issues. Put us in a room together with our son and you can see that our problems come from us, not our son. Yes maybe he listens and follows directions a little worse than I'd expected. But why does that matter? What pressing issues do we have, that we can't wait an extra minute for him to get ready for bed or get his shoes on before we go out?
Realized I had more to talk about-am I the only one who dislikes people the more I get to know them? I mean...it's been 6 years now since I've known certain people that I talk to online but have never met. Little by little I'm finally noticing things that irk me about them. Like, the girl who's constantly correcting her own grammar and I'm thinking, I didn't even notice anything was wrong. She'll be like "Ooops, what a silly mistake that was!" and I'm thinking I must look so stupid to her, because I've probably made so many grammar mistakes. Then there are a couple women who are in my parenting group on facebook who don't have kids yet but are trying, or are looking to adopt, who think they know everything about raising kids. Well one girl in particular. She has dogs. And she thinks that she can relate her puppy-raising stories to having kids. Seriously? I think she's in for a rude shock if she ever does get a kid (she's the one who's trying to adopt). And I mean I hope she and her husband do someday because I'm sure she'll be great but I think it will be a lot different from what she's picturing.
Or the girl who, when I posted about my son breaking a plank of wood on his first day of karate, said that her daughter's karate place basically "makes sure every first time student breaks a board" like they give them weak boards or something. I know it's pretty soft wood that they give them, but not every kid sliced through it like butter or anything.
Or the girl who said she didn't expect me to like her music tastes because I like new kids on the block. Like I'm stuck in some boy band niche because one of the groups I happen to like is a boy band. It doesn't matter that I also like classic rock, classical, musicals, 90's music, and rock?
I hate it when I feel like this. I just despise everyone and everything right now. I'm even getting tired of nkotb. I didn't love their new tour, and I hate the bad press they get about the afterparties because not all the guys show up or the photo op sucks or Jordan doesn't look like he's having a good time or whatever bullshit is going on. If nkotb is tired they should stop doing the AP's, and the people can either enjoy what they get or understand why it's sub-par and back off. I hate how it feels like they're throwing up AP's and charging us for pictures and making everyone crazy and possessive when they could do what they did at my AP and just say look, Donnie's gonna walk around and he might take a picture with you and he might not so just chill out and be nice. And still people were following him around the room and crowding other people out. But it was still nicer than the chick who went to the media when her AP sucked. And maybe it did suck but I'd say, you know what,how many girls still have not gone to an AP or even a concert. No picture with their favorite, no meet and greet, no autographs. You're going to the media because you didn't get a top notch pic and the guys didn't stay for the entirety of the party? Yes the AC broke at this particular concert and AP but that's not nkotb's fault! Sigh.
I don't support dragging our kid out after a day of school or a day of camp because you need paint or the umpteenth gardening item at Home Depot or because you want to go to Target but nobody else does. At the same time I don't want our son to run our lives and think he can get everything he wants. I feel like I'm thinking too hard about this. I wish I could start over or get a fresh look somehow. I think my husband and I are both way too controlling and uptight and I have no idea how to fix that. And our dear son doesn't even complain about it to other people. He wants to impress people so badly that he always says things are fine and then we come home and have a big disagreement and I'm like, this is what I'm talking about. We all went to family therapy the other day and he looked so well adjusted I felt like an idiot for being there. My husband and I are the ones with the issues. Put us in a room together with our son and you can see that our problems come from us, not our son. Yes maybe he listens and follows directions a little worse than I'd expected. But why does that matter? What pressing issues do we have, that we can't wait an extra minute for him to get ready for bed or get his shoes on before we go out?
Realized I had more to talk about-am I the only one who dislikes people the more I get to know them? I mean...it's been 6 years now since I've known certain people that I talk to online but have never met. Little by little I'm finally noticing things that irk me about them. Like, the girl who's constantly correcting her own grammar and I'm thinking, I didn't even notice anything was wrong. She'll be like "Ooops, what a silly mistake that was!" and I'm thinking I must look so stupid to her, because I've probably made so many grammar mistakes. Then there are a couple women who are in my parenting group on facebook who don't have kids yet but are trying, or are looking to adopt, who think they know everything about raising kids. Well one girl in particular. She has dogs. And she thinks that she can relate her puppy-raising stories to having kids. Seriously? I think she's in for a rude shock if she ever does get a kid (she's the one who's trying to adopt). And I mean I hope she and her husband do someday because I'm sure she'll be great but I think it will be a lot different from what she's picturing.
Or the girl who, when I posted about my son breaking a plank of wood on his first day of karate, said that her daughter's karate place basically "makes sure every first time student breaks a board" like they give them weak boards or something. I know it's pretty soft wood that they give them, but not every kid sliced through it like butter or anything.
Or the girl who said she didn't expect me to like her music tastes because I like new kids on the block. Like I'm stuck in some boy band niche because one of the groups I happen to like is a boy band. It doesn't matter that I also like classic rock, classical, musicals, 90's music, and rock?
I hate it when I feel like this. I just despise everyone and everything right now. I'm even getting tired of nkotb. I didn't love their new tour, and I hate the bad press they get about the afterparties because not all the guys show up or the photo op sucks or Jordan doesn't look like he's having a good time or whatever bullshit is going on. If nkotb is tired they should stop doing the AP's, and the people can either enjoy what they get or understand why it's sub-par and back off. I hate how it feels like they're throwing up AP's and charging us for pictures and making everyone crazy and possessive when they could do what they did at my AP and just say look, Donnie's gonna walk around and he might take a picture with you and he might not so just chill out and be nice. And still people were following him around the room and crowding other people out. But it was still nicer than the chick who went to the media when her AP sucked. And maybe it did suck but I'd say, you know what,how many girls still have not gone to an AP or even a concert. No picture with their favorite, no meet and greet, no autographs. You're going to the media because you didn't get a top notch pic and the guys didn't stay for the entirety of the party? Yes the AC broke at this particular concert and AP but that's not nkotb's fault! Sigh.
no subject
Date: 2013-07-02 07:53 pm (UTC)If you need an ear, just pm me anytime. *hug*
no subject
Date: 2013-07-02 08:35 pm (UTC)