becomingkate

 So after my surgery, they put in a catheter to keep my bladder drained so it would heal right. I was supposed to get the catheter taken out yesterday, but they did a CT scan to make sure there were no leaks in the bladder, and there was. Apparently there is a small tear at the incision. So I have to keep the catheter in and go get checked in another week. Fingers crossed that it is all healed up by then.

I know I said some heavy stuff in the last entry. I do feel like something has to give. I just don't know how to come back from being this dissatisfied. And if like I fear, the tear is caused by not getting enough help at home, I don't want to risk that again. We'll never really know, though, if it was from him not letting me rest enough or just if I turned funny in my sleep one night or something. I haven't even really approached my feelings with my husband. It seems he kind of knows that I'm unhappy but is doing a really good job of putting his head in the sand. Not like he doesn't care, but that he just...doesn't know what to do? I guess. It's just really hard when things seem obvious to me but he doesn't have a clue.

 So, I had surgery last week. I don't remember if I mentioned I was going to. I had gotten some bladder stones out a few years ago but I knew I had some left. I put it off because I detest surgery (mostly getting the IV and the constant poking and prodding after the procedure) with a passion, but finally decided to get it done. So I planned it and my husband took the week off. I planned it in Boston instead of the local hospital because it really sucks.

Two days before the surgery, the hospital called me and said they needed me to come in the next day (a Wednesday) for CT scan. Now I had already planned to go to Computers class and take a Math quiz that I was going to miss. So I had to clear my day and go to Boston by myself instead because my husband can't get the day off on short notice.

So I went in on Wednesday and they informed me I'll need an IV for contrast. Yay! My stress level shots up. It went okay, the guy wasn't great but he did get it on the first try which is more than I can say for most of them. I got the CT scan no problem and went home. I was starving so I stopped by the fish market and Market Basket and also picked up some food for my son and husband to eat while I was gone. We went out to dinner that night and turned in a little early.

We had to be in Boston pretty early for the surgery (last Thursday), so we left at the crack of dawn. Our son spent the night at a friend's house and they took him to school. They took me in for prep and of course, another IV. The woman was not at all subtle about her dismay at my veins. She kept groaning about how she couldn't see anything good. I think she had to try once or twice, I can't remember. First she gave me a numbing medicine through a shot which stung like hell and I wasn't sure if it was worth it. They gave me a sedative through the IV and then the anesthesia. I remember waking up crying, which I usually do. I don't know why it affects me like that. So they took me to the recovery room and when I was looking good they took me to the PACU (post-anesthesia) which is just like the recovery room--just beds separated by curtains in a big room.

And there I stayed, from that morning until the next night. I never got a room. That night I was on clear liquids, which sucked, but I was already on regular diet for breakfast the next day. The food was decent and you could order any time instead of waiting for a certain meal time.

They gave me nerve blockers for pain, instead of drugs, which was interesting. That meant that I was wide awake instead of being loopy like the usual painkillers do. So I was wide awake from when I woke up from my surgery around noon Thursday, until the middle of the night around midnight when I finally dozed. My husband very kindly used the portable charger while I was in surgery so by the time I got out the charger was dead and so was my phone. Thanks! He also didn't bring the right earbuds to plug into my phone so I couldn't listen to anything. I did manage to charge my phone and the charger but had to get the nurse to take care of that because I couldn't reach any plugs.

On Friday morning the pain management guy asked how I was feeling and said if my pain wasn't too bad I could go home that day. My pain never went above a 3. They were giving me Oxycodone but I think it was a low dose.

So that day my son had a presentation at school that my husband went to. So I had to wait until they were done with that for them to get me. You might have noticed we also had a bad rain storm on Friday. My son's school lost power and flooded a little. Trees and poles were down all over the place. And they had to drive up to get me. My husband didn't get gas before he left, and he called me some time later and said he only had 2 miles left and all the gas stations lost power. So he called AAA and they came with 2 gallons of gas like an hour and a half later, and then he found a gas station.

They ended up getting to the hospital at 8 pm Friday and we drove home and went to bed. I'll end this here and write another post...