becomingkate

Grades are in! I got an A in History, a B in Math and a B+ in Computers. I couldn't resist and I e mailed my math professor last night because I was dying to know how I did on my final. I got a 90. Woo! I guess I really didn't need that tutoring I canceled. (thank you spikesgirl58 for making me feel like it was okay to cancel it ;))

I went to Spin again today and enjoyed it, however my seat came loose partway through the class and I didn't want to get up to fiddle with it so I just kind of had to hang on extra tight. I'm sure it would be okay to get off and tighten it but I felt insecure like I'd be a distraction. I'm going again tomorrow night. I actually felt like I've already improved--I can pedal standing up in spurts already, and I couldn't at all in my first class.

I've also worked on upping my steps and I've gotten 10,000 steps both yesterday and today. I found that because my stride is so short, it actually only takes 4 miles for me to get 10,000 steps (I think the average person takes 5 miles).

I'm not supposed to weigh myself for a couple more days (I do it once a week) but I sneaked a peek today and I've already lost a couple pounds. My period came and went, so I probably lost a couple pounds of water weight.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/274091.html

I had a very weird dream last night-I dreamed I was in a class and all of a sudden I was sitting next to a woman who I just knew was my childhood best friend-I asked whatever happened to her in school, because I remembered one year she was there and the next she wasn't. She said "I moved to California." It was so real I woke up and looked her up on Facebook. She still lives around here. Yes, I still recognized her after 30 years--people's eyes don't change much so that's how I always recognize people I haven't seen in forever. Try it with celebrity pics-it really works.

So, I can't remember if I posted about the last Math quiz I took--I failed it with a 65...I was so sure I did well. (one question was 30 points) So today (a week later) I went back and retook it--got 100. Tell me how that makes sense. I really think my phone calculator is wonky...So he averaged the failed quiz and the 100 and got an 82.5.

Next week is finals--I have a take home History final due Tuesday, Math final on Tuesday and Computers final due Wednesday, but I'm turning it in early so I can go to a couple of my son's events that day. His class portfolio will be on display in the classroom and the awards ceremony for Math Olympiads will happen at assembly that morning.

The Math professor was very impressed with my perseverance-especially with surgery in March, he said "a lot of people get surgery and drop out of school"--well, I guess having a lot of surgery as a kid, I'm more used to it. It took me a month to really get over it but fortunately it happened around spring break so I only missed a week of school. I just feel like...I'm just average, it's nothing special that I came back to school after surgery. Why wouldn't I? So If I'm that great, why do I have such shitty self esteem and confidence?

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/273078.html

We went to Vermont a few days ago for a couple days-it was fun. We did a lot of touristy stuff and went on a walk at one of the state parks. It went better than previous vacations because our son seemed to have a better time. He was still grumpy a good bit of the time but there were some highlights.

I guess overall things have been better but I have been really down lately. I'm just not as sure of myself as I was just a few months ago. I'm not as motivated at school, I've lost touch with pretty much everyone in my life, I don't feel good about myself intellectually or socially, I just feel like I'm having a big identity crisis.

I feel like I'm just a big downer.

I have a cold, it snuck up on me a few days ago. It's weird, I'll be feeling okay and then all of a sudden I can't breathe. Or I was fine all through class and then I went to math tutoring and couldn't stop coughing, probably making my tutor wonder why I bothered coming in. I swear I was functional earlier. By the way, the tutoring didn't help. I had a quiz review I just wanted to go over and she insisted on re-teaching me the whole section in a more confusing way, and making me write down vocabulary words and definitions. I get it she is helping me learn these things long term, but I just want to pass the quiz.

We went to see how our son did on the standardized testing they do every other year at my son's school. We know he does really well academically, it's just interesting to see which areas he doesn't do as exceptionally. This year it was punctuation, lol. I looked at his results from 3rd grade and it was capitalization. I think that is a result of the technology age we are in. Even adults don't use proper grammar or punctuation and yet I think that is more important than say, how well you do math.

I think we are just at a loss as to what to do with him. He is so ahead academically, but still needs so much help with organization, routines, basic skills. I see so much of us in him. It's an interesting combination.

So my husband took an interest in our IQ's after we had a recent re-evaluation of our son. My husband found an IQ test online that may or may not be accurate. I know you should really go to a licensed tester and get the real deal but not everyone has thousands of dollars to spend on that. So we took this online test and found that we both are also above average IQ. I'm of the mind that it doesn't really change anything, at this point. Colleges don't look at IQ. Work doesn't look at IQ. I'm glad we found out early with our son so he can make his schools aware of his potential and they will hopefully challenge him. But what can adults do? My husband is of the mind that he should be using that potential, but I think that for every gifted person who uses that potential for leverage, there are many gifted people who never had any privilege, didn't go to private school or an elite college and still had a happy life. But I also understand wanting the best for our son and wanting him to use that potential to his advantage. And yet do we groom him to get into an elite high school and an elite college? Or follow his lead and let his interests and skills lead the way?

I think he has really grown this year. He used to stay away from sports; this year he did basketball and track and field. He joined Math Olympiads again, and did a couple other elective activities. I'm happy to see him so well rounded. I was concerned with the amount of time he likes to spend on the computer and other screens. I still am concerned at times and I wish he didn't have to use a screen for activities that "when I was a kid" you didn't need a screen for. But I don't want to be one of those parents who's stuck in the past. Technology is our present and future and it's a plus to be proficient in those skills, which he is. Overall I know I bitch about him a lot but I'm very proud and so excited to see what the future holds for him.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/272220.html

Still happy with my profs' dispositions. I missed two days last week though, Monday because it snowed really bad Sunday night and through most of Monday. They canceled public school in my town but not the private school my son goes to. He wasn't feeling well, and honestly neither was I because it was that time of the month, so I decided the cards were stacked against me enough and I stayed home. I was afraid he'd call me to come home, but he didn't.

The next day, I got on the highway to go to class and my car started shaking. Badly. Never happened to me before. So I pulled off and went to Goodyear and they told me that snow in my tires was causing my car to become unbalanced and shake. I googled it, it's a thing. But how could it have never happened to me before when I've lived in Massachusetts for most of my life??

So I think I actually did an assignment well before it was due, because my Computers prof said to do the in-class assignment that I missed, and I thought that was it, but I think what I did is actually not due yet. Then I received a 0 on an e mail assignment because I didn't address the topics he wanted us to hit upon, so I resent the assignment and got a 95 despite it being days late.

I don't feel like I've got as good a direction on my objectives this semester, but it's still very early and I hope to get into the swing of things soon.

I weighed myself yesterday after missing a couple weeks of weigh in and was happy to see I still lost weight. Not as much as I hoped to lose in that amount of time but still something. I won't be able to lose as much weight as I hoped by October. October is my new goal because that's cruise month, even though I'm probably not going. Things with Heather haven't been the same since she came to visit last year. We rarely talk and it is just superficial when we do, like catching up on This Is Us or talking about family drama.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/269035.html

I honestly couldn't be much happier about my professors this semester. They all seem exceedingly nice and helpful.

I'm a bit concerned about my Math teacher who has a heavy African accent (I assume every region has its own accent, and I'm not sure where specifically he is from, but yes, he did say he was born and lived in Africa)

I just don't do well with accents. My history teacher is a little odd, he likes to laugh at his own (unfunny) jokes. My Computers teacher seems very sweet. I went to that class today and it didn't even occur to me that it's a Monday/Wednesday class, not just Wednesday, because we missed it this Monday for the holiday. So I actually have classes 4 days a week. It seems like that class might be a lot of work but it's all online. So as usual I am anxious to just get it all done. LOL

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/268445.html

Let the obsessing begin!

I logged into the college website today to see if any announcements had been posted. Sometimes profs like to sneak in messages like "Be sure to bring the textbook to the first class" so they can see who is keeping up, LOL. Of course most people don't do that. I found one syllabus for my Computers class, which I don't have until tomorrow. It looks like the text is optional. I think that class might be reasonably easy, since I have a good grasp of internet, but I've never really done any Office programs except Word, so I hope to learn something there.

My first class starts at 11. Nice that I don't have to rush to get there, but kind of wish it were a bit earlier. T/Th I have two classes back to back (and across the hall from each other, lol). Wednesday I only have Computers.

The weird thing is I can only find one of my profs on ratemyprofessor.com. One of my classes lists two profs, maybe a prof and a TA. Maybe the other prof is new. So I feel a little anxious about that. But the history teacher is supposed to be good-sounds very similar to the history class I had last year.

I watched a few minutes of The Alienist last night before bed. I thought it might fill the gap that The Knick left, being about psych/forensics around the same era in New York. It didn't grab me though, but it might be because I was getting tired. I hate first episodes where they introduce all the characters in like the first scene and I'm like wait, who's that? But I do like Luke Evans, so I'll give it a chance.

I loved The Knick-nobody I know of watched it, but it was this great hospital drama set in early 20th century New York. I loved the characters and story arcs, and it had Toby from This Is Us who is just great, and he was in a mostly platonic but flirty relationship with a nun, and they were awesome together. The season ended with a doctor wanting to get into psychology. In the days of early psych research they used to isolate people (amongst other not as nice things). But at the end of the last season it shows the doctor pulling up a chair to the patient and talking to him. And then it freaking ended!

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/268131.html

Last night, not so good. I always have a hard time falling asleep. I finally did, and I awoke to the bed shaking. I tend to snore, so I figured it was my husband trying to get me to roll over. So I rolled over, and he continued to roll around and nudge me. There was no way I'd fall asleep getting poked every couple minutes so I got up and slept in the guest room. It's not bad in there, but I've determined that our son has the most comfortable bed in the house.
What annoys me is the way he tries to wake me up. I'd rather he nudge me and gently say "Kitty, you're snoring again" than wake up to the bed shaking. Although, when he used to snore (not sure why he doesn't anymore), I did have to rather violently shake him as well (and it still rarely worked). This is payback, I guess.
Then when he woke up this morning he was stumbling around looking for me and I called out to him and told him what happened. He apologized, but then he just went downstairs. Our son is a real pain to wake up and I just wish that when my husband wakes up he'd think to start waking up our son so it's not all on me.
I dunno, I just always manage to be in a bad mood these days, don't I? I think I need some schoolwork to obsess about again. I go back in a week from today. I have to head out later and get some notebooks and folders.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/267582.html

I can't figure out how I turned into the shyest and yet the most attention-craving person in the world at the same time. I can't function in social situations, but I want people to notice me, remember me, talk to me. it's a conundrum. How do I make this happen?

Now I'm getting e mails about Honors classes at the community college. You also get a scholarship, I'm not sure if it's for the CC only or if you can use it once you move on to another college. Thing is, I'm already registered for Spring and then I only have 3 classes left to take, and I wanted to do an internship (which counts as a class because you have to go to a seminar once a week as well as do the internship).

I just don't want to get too loaded down. I have my son's schedule to work around too, and I want to work as soon as I can so I can start contributing to this family. But of course I want to take advantage of the Honors program because that would look good on my transcript.

Christmas was okay. I still felt like my son and husband weren't really part of the family. I wished they would hang out and socialize more. My husband uses the excuse of having to keep an eye on my son. That worked when he was 3, but he's 11 now and can take care of himself.

My husband got us a new oven for Christmas. I'm excited! Ours was a mess, lol. One burner didn't work anymore and it always leaked heat and smoked and it was starting to smell funny. So it will be delivered tomorrow and then I have to call the electrician to hook it up.

I was irritated because literally nobody asked how school was going. My husband and son were excited for me which was nice, but then over Christmas not a single person asked. My mom would have asked and I might have rubbed it in her face that not only did I not report that I have a learning disability (which I still claim that I don't, and she claimed that I do), but that I was a note taker for two classes and got a 4.0 GPA. I don't think there even is any documentation that I have ADD, which you need to provide if you are going to get special services. But anyone can get tutoring, and I seemed to do okay with just that. Just saying.

I'm not bitter though.

I have been told I need extra help all my life and people wonder why I have low expectations of myself.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/265780.html

I only have official grades from History and Race Relations, but my Astronomy teacher told me what I got, and I expect an A- from English, if not an A. So here are the final scores:
History: A+
Race Relations: A
English A or A-, most likely

And now what you've all been waiting for...
Astronomy: A+

Yes, you read that right. I did so much extra credit to make up for my poor quiz and test grades that I ended up going over the allotted 1000 points. I'm not quite sure how to react to this. It's almost like I don't deserve it, because I don't grasp all the basic concepts. But I did do a lot of work.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/265408.html

I just finished a paper that isn't due for 5 days. I just wanted to get it done. My son and husband went out and I sat down and did it in about 3 hours. Yeah, I hadn't started it until then. It turned out to be a lot easier than I expected. I honestly kept putting it off because I didn't know how to begin, but once I did, it just happened. I'm glad to be done and I hope I get a decent grade on it.
What I'm a little more concerned about is the astronomy final. It's on Monday night and I just have this bad feeling I'm going to do horribly. I mean, I've got these three other classes that are practically all easy and then this one Astronomy class where we aren't given any breaks. The hardest class, and no real help. For English, we can bring in a sheet of paper with notes on it front and back about The Catcher in the Rye. Our History final was a takehome we had two weeks to do (it took me about an hour) and Race Relations was a paper about our family ancestry. Just by luck my dad gave me documentation a few months ago on our family line tracing back to the Mayflower so I used that to research the family online. I kind of wished I'd joined ancestry.com or something just to get more updated info but I got a lot of info as it was.

Oh, I did find out I got an A+ in History! I was pretty happy about that. I mean I felt like it was kind of handed to me but at the same time I did learn a lot about US History.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/265004.html

Every time I try to post here it just seems like inane ramblings about college, my husband, my son, blah blah blah. We are wrapping up the semester. I had my last History class today. Went in for 10 minutes to hand in the final and do the teacher eval. Then I copied my Astronomy notes for the person in my class who wanted a note taker. I later went to a study session for the Astronomy final. See, the thing is I understand most of the concepts but the way he tests us on them is confusing and backwards.

We were supposed to take a test on Monday but the test room was locked when we got down there. The security must have locked it because we are the last class there. So the professor sent us all home and said we'd get A's for the test, but we still had to take it so we would "have the knowledge". So I took it at home, googled a few answers because it didn't matter, and got an 82. I'm refusing to do a couple of the worksheets he sent home with us. I did enough extra credit where it shouldn't matter. I just can't wrap my head around it.
I just want to be done! On Monday we have final review and the next Monday is the final. I'm so done with this class. He actually asked me for feedback via the email system so I just told him (nicely) what I thought the issues were and what he might be able to do to make it a little more manageable.

I'm realizing I really miss my high school friends, lol. They were my favorite people and then I lost touch with them. I've gotten back in touch with a couple through Facebook and it's all very superficial but it's been nice just talking to them. They don't live locally anymore.
I'm just so lonely and I don't think my husband understands because he doesn't need that human connection. Or, he thinks he doesn't. I think it's a basic need. I think I'm having a hard time connecting with my son's friends' moms because they are mostly professionals. I am working towards that, but I am still more of a homebody/mom/wife than a professional. I want to talk about what makes us weird, not what makes us normal.

That's why I like getting to know new people online. I like just finding out what random things we have in common, sharing a bond with someone. Then you find out their faults and it gets complicated. :P

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/264781.html

Wow, it's been a while! It's unbelievable how little time I have now. I have like 5 things due every week just for astronomy. I don't remember how much I've updated about that, but I did really well on the first test, and then I failed the second one. I've missed a couple online quizzes and I'm struggling with a couple of the sky labs. So I really don't have a good idea of what kind of grade I'll end up with. I'd be happy with a C. Well not happy, but fine. My tutor had a family emergency and wasn't around last week so I might have to contact the professor and see who else he knows who might be able to help.

So Joey (of NKOTB) has a new podcast out. The first episode was fun, and short, and was basically an intro. The new ep came out and his wife is on it. So it's like...being the third wheel on a date with him and his wife. LOL. The concept of the podcast is about moving, and how moving, either as a kid or even later in life, really changes your life. It's interesting, but I'm not really focusing on this one. It's not structured. And it's kind of driving me crazy that his wife is totally chatty and down to earth and well, likeable. Ha ha. They just keep talking over each other, and I wish it were more like, let the guest talk. Even if it is your wife. LOL.

Okay so they got to an emotional part and now I feel bad for knocking it. Part of the premise is that Joey and his family are moving back to the East Coast! Sadly not Boston, but New York. But that is exciting because maybe he'll be in Boston more.

Anyway, I have been pulling A's in my other 3 classes. I get worried with my online class because you don't get to go in and see a person who will remind you what's coming up. I can't believe I wanted to talk all my classes online before. It would be a nightmare. I just pictured it being more structured, like your assignments would open on a certain day and you'd have to watch a recorded lecture twice a week or something, but it's much more self-led.

Halloween went well. Of course our son was nervous about his costume because he always feels like people won't know what it is. He was a character from a game called Five Nights at Freddy's. He went ToTing with a friend and had a good time.

We have an appt. set up to take him to a therapist. He was resisting the idea, but I really think he needs someone (particularly a trusted male adult) who he can talk to outside of school. A couple things have kind of been working as far as his behavior at home, but there is a lot of ongoing stuff that someone needs to stay on top of. The school is helping us, but they can only do so much.

Things are still rough with my husband. It just seems like he is not invested in this family life and he always says things like "Let's do things as a family!" But those things are like, going to Home Depot. Or dragging our son along to something he doesn't want to do just for the sake of doing things as a family. It doesn't make sense to me. Like my son and I were home alone on Sunday and there was this trail walk thing going on at his school which I thought he would like because he could show me the woods and maybe run into a couple friends. But he told me he didn't want to go if I was going because he was afraid I'd get tired on the walk. I mean I guess he had good intentions but it hurt my feelings. He wanted to invite himself along with someone else's family, LOL. I hate that practice. So we didn't end up going. And my husband said he would have just made our son go. What fun would that be? I wanted to go with him if he wanted to go, not if I had to make him go. It just didn't make sense to me.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/264692.html

I don't wanna talk about it, but #metoo. I'm glad I'm not the only one saying we shouldn't have to share our stories to bring about change. Women who don't want to share their stories (and it's not that they don't have stories, believe me, they do) are being made to feel like they're not brave, that they're not joining this fight. But it's the same thing as women having the burden of proof when it comes to assault and harassment. Like if there's no proof, it didn't happen. We have to stop expecting women to come forward and prove themselves. We know it happens. We can't say "Well this woman didn't say anything so she must have never been a victim of mistreatment." It's not true. Sometimes women don't even realize they've been mistreated because it's just part of life to them. It doesn't just include rape and other blatant abuse. It's words, attitudes and assumptions men have made about every woman, every day, whether anyone realizes it or not.

/soapbox

So, I have been keeping this under wraps for a couple days, but remember how I was struggling with astronomy? Like, failing quizzes and considering dropping the class. I've been taking tutoring, got a study guide and went to an extra study group, got some help from a guy who was unfairly cute (and also about 20 years younger than me). And I got an 89.5 on the first major test (4 chapters!) Then, just to keep myself grounded, I failed a quiz the next day. It's honestly not to my benefit that we have to take quizzes before we go over the material in class. I don't really understand that method. But apparently, once I study the hell out of it, I kind of get it!

Then I started the blog assignment that we have to do for the class (which I can't share with you, because I set it up on DW and I had to leave it public so he could see it, but I won't invite people to potentially put inappropriate comments and such, because I know how you people are :P But he really likes what I did with it and I'm looking forward to getting a few easy points for completing it. I knew my blogging habits would come in handy someday.

I just got an assignment back from Race Relations. I submitted it early, but didn't realize it was in the wrong format (he wanted pdf). So it took me a few days to figure out how to resubmit it online, I don't think it was set up right to accept resubmissions and I kept going back and finally one day it worked. I wasn't even sure if he was going to grade it since it was so late at that point. But he just posted the grade today and I got an A+ :D

I know grades don't really matter, but it does make me feel good to work hard and keep trying and have it pay off. I keep trying to impress this on my son but I'm not sure he'll understand until much later (like I did!)

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/264102.html

Woo, that time of the month is kicking my butt. Once in a while it gets so bad I have to take a day off from whatever I'm doing. Usually in the early morning. Unfortunately today is that day and that means I'm missing a class. But I'm being responsible and I already emailed the professor. I have a meeting at my son's school this afternoon, but I should feel a little better by then.

Astronomy is also kicking my butt. I just don't grasp the math, mostly. But I'm trying to keep up. This week's class was relatively painful but I still bailed early because we were going to the lab to work on stuff that I could do at home. So I'll probably have to check on that today.

So the school meeting. All kinds of shenanigans are going on this year. Someone is stealing gym clothes, my son is being bullied by someone he was sort of friends with last year and kids are inappropriately using their school laptops. I mean, you give kids laptops and what do you think will happen? But this is like...crazy level inappropriate.

It's a whole new territory because of course we didn't have laptops growing up. We didn't have any portable device with the world at our fingertips. The worst things we had were Discmans and, well, drugs. Ha ha. Can't wait for that to come up.

I was naive in thinking a private school would be any better with these issues. Kids are kids, rich or overprotected or not. Still, I thought fewer kids = better supervision.

Seriously, didn't people learn in kindergarten to keep their damn hands off each other? (This comment is stemming from recent sexual harrassment allegations, but works nicely with the bullying going on at my son's school, too)

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/263736.html

Currently trying to figure out what grade I can get away with in Astronomy without actually understanding the material. Of course, when I'm at home taking the quiz we can go through the book and find the answers. But I'm not sure I could come up with many of the right answers from my own brain.

I honestly wanted to walk out last night. It was getting late, and he was going on and on, scrawling numbers and equations on the board, and we were all stifling laughter because I'm pretty sure most of us had no clue what he was talking about. So someone said, "Will all that be on the test?" And he was like "Heavens no! I'd never make you do equations on a test!" And we're all thinking, so why are you bogging down our minds with it?

Honestly, this is supposed to be Intro to Astronomy. None of us actually want to be astronomers. We have to take a lab science and we kind of thought we'd be learning cool stuff in Astronomy rather than learning about rocks or bacteria. Ugh, remember microscope labs, where you had to draw things? So bring us in, tell us about the orbit of the planets, show us a scale model of the solar system, treat us like 5th graders so we can pass the class and move the fuck on. If we're interested, we'll come back and learn the calculations, and equations, and hard core theories. Right now, I'm still not sure I get the concepts of seasons and moon phases.

He was actually mad that we didn't understand something or other on the worksheets. And that's because the work we are doing is actually ahead of what we're studying. We do the labs and homework and then he lectures on what we just did. Which is totally backwards for something we are still learning. It's like asking someone to speak another language before you've taught it, just because you had them read a chapter that was written in that language.

I was sort of taken under the wings of a couple other ladies in the class. I think they assume I'm smart because I'm older, LOL. So I worked with them on the class lab yesterday and then they had me sit next to them in the computer lab. They are loud and annoying during class and I don't really like being associated with them, but if they'll help me pull through this class I'll take it.

I just look at the tables where you are supposed to solve for one thing using another number and I have no idea what the formula is or anything. I have a tutoring appointment on Thursday and I really do hope that helps. Otherwise I'm not sure I'll make it. Like I said, I'm trying to get the most points in the things I do understand.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/262931.html

I've been feeling especially lonely over the last month or so. I guess because, even though I am "out in the world", going to classes, nothing has changed for me, socially. Nobody is jumping at the chance to get to know me. I even feel like these classes in particular are more lecture and less discussion than I envisioned. I kind of hoped I'd be more social, and that I'd be given more of a chance to do so. But I guess that kind of thing is up to me-however when 90+% of the class is 18 years old, I'm having a hard time picking out the people I might connect with. (I suppose I could start with that 10% that is closer to my age group.) I'm not the type of person to show up to a club, either. So I guess my only limitations are the ones I put on myself.

Classes are going better and worse than I expected. My grades for the astronomy labs last week were posted today and I did quite well. Not sure how I pulled that off or if I'd be able to recreate it. But there it is. I've been obsessively keeping track of my grades and assignments and doing whatever extra credit I can.

I failed a Race Relations quiz. The questions were so weirdly worded I didn't know what to do with them. I've contributed to the message board discussions and been keeping up with the reading though, so I'm getting points where I can. English Lit is going well. I think I'm doing better than I expected in that, too. I seem to grasp the messages in these stories better than I hoped. History is well, dry, but interesting. Quiz on Friday.

But yeah, feeling lonely. It's that time of year where I was so happy last year at this time, that feeling is notably missing now. I was even browsing meetup.com last night. It looked, as I suspected, a little thin. Like, lots of members of groups but very low attendance.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/262326.html

I feel like this font is abnormally big. Maybe it will autocorrect when I post it.

Classes (oh, now the font is smaller, lol) are interesting. I think I have already talked about most of them. I was ready to cry in Astronomy. I just couldn't wrap my head around the concept of the star sky rotating and eclipses and such. One of our assignments is actually a blog where you can communicate with the professor. So for me, with a confrontation issue, that is fantastic. I wrote my blog and mentioned I was confused. He said sometimes it can take weeks to really understand it. And not to toot my own horn but I am kind of grasping the idea that I'm smarter than the average college student. So I have to be patient. It made me think about my son and how he expects to understand everything right away and that made me smile and relax a little. I hope that by keeping in touch with the instructor he'll go easy on me. I'm not doing so great on the quizzes and labs yet so I hope he sees I'm trying.

Speaking of my son, he didn't pack a lunch today and I am a mean mom and none of his friends like me. I laughed. "I don't care if 10-year-olds like me," I told him. We were trying to get out the door and he asked me to make a sandwich for him. I said no, you can make your own. He was all ready besides that and we technically had lots of time. It isn't my fault he lies in bed for half an hour when his alarm goes off and then wants me to make his sandwich so he can get to school 25 minutes early and play with his friends before class. Right? We had plenty of time for him to make a sandwich. I said, some kids your age already know how to make a whole hot meal and you can't make a PB&J? So he thought he hurt my feelings by saying his friends don't like me. To be honest, it does make me sad because I wanted to be "that mom" that kids like. But oh well. I can't wait until he tries to tell someone besides his friends that his mom is mean because she won't make his lunch for him when he's 10 years old.

It's partially my fault. I should have been teaching him how to cook since he was old enough to stand up. But by the time I started, he wasn't interested. I take for granted that I'm a good cook. It doesn't occur to me that it might be hard for some people.

Our 13th anniversary was a few days ago. It went okay, except I had class in the morning and evening, and it was the day after my mom's memorial party finally happened, so I was pretty wiped out. My husband took our anniversary off, so we went out to lunch and that was nice. He got me a pair of citrine earrings which are pretty but I don't have much that matches them because they're orange and I don't tend to wear yellow or orange. I think I have some red tops somewhere. I got him some coasters in the design of The Maze from Westworld. He didn't recognize the pattern when he opened them, so I had to explain it. LOL.

Mom's party went well. I call it a party because it really was. It was just a gathering at a restaurant/function room with passed canapes and then a pasta station where they made a plate to order for you. And of course a bar. People brought photos and there were tables to sit at and talk and eat. My mom's side of the family has a wry, sometimes morbid sense of humor. They have no problem making little jabs at people. There were a lot of comments of things like "Well, she sure did know what she wanted," in other words she was opinionated and wasn't afraid to tell you if she thought your opinion was stupid. So there was a lot of humor, good food and some people I hadn't seen in decades. My son was good-natured, especially for not knowing 90% of the people there. My dad and his wife came, and I felt bad that I didn't get to talk to them hardly at all because I was pulled aside by so many people. It was successful overall though.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/261919.html

Another great quote from ratemyprofessors.com: "If you don't pass this class you're a moran"

I had my first History class yesterday, we just went over the syllabus and then he let us go. It seems like it will be a fairly easy class. I am a bit worried about Astronomy on Monday, it's the only class I haven't been to yet this semester, and it just seems like a lot of work. I am also paranoid that I will miss something with my online class.

Tomorrow (oops, I mean Monday) I have English Lit again and I read the three stories that were assigned, and took some notes. I think I got the gist of all of them, and the glory of the internet is that you can look up anything and see if you were right, and get some other perspectives. By "right", I mean not totally off the mark--of course there is no right answer if you interpret something a certain way, but there is the generally accepted answers and then "woah, how did you come to that conclusion?")

I was fairly busy today putting together the slideshow for mom's memorial. Her sister mailed me some photos, and her boyfriend has been e mailing me photo attachments. Plus I am going up to my aunt's house Thursday to look at her pics. I found out they come out pretty well if I just take photos of photos with my phone which makes it easy to just put them in a PowerPoint. I have been a total bum hygenically though, as I did not put on real clothes. It's laundry day, and my favorite pair of jeans ripped across the butt, so I had nothing to wear. I ordered new jeans and did all the laundry, though.

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/261855.html

I dropped off my son for his first day of 5th grade today. It was fairly uneventful. He is disappointed because he doesn't really have friends in his new class. I found out he doesn't like one of them because he doesn't play fair. The other one, I think is just sensitive and my son doesn't know how to handle that. Although my son can be sensitive too but in a different way. There is a new boy in his class who seems a bit wild, but we will see.

I logged into my online college course today and was met with an image that said "Keep calm and love llamas". I straight out burst out laughing. It's a Race Relations class and I think it will be very interesting, and of course, timely. I checked out the syllabus and it seems fairly heavy with information. Plus I have to learn how to navigate the online course. Well, the first assignment of reading the syllabus and online etiquette rules and e mailing the teacher isn't even due until the 10th, and I've already done it. I didn't go in and see if I could complete other assignments yet, but I'll do that later. I think the website records every time I log in, so I don't want to spam up the log with logins every hour, LOL.

I still have not received my grade for Public Speaking. I e mailed the registrar to see if she submitted them at all. It took my Sociology 101 teacher about a week to submit his grades, but it's been a couple weeks now.

It's Suicide Prevention Month, so I've been more vocal on twitter about that. I kind of dislike how there is a month designated for things like that though, because as soon as the month is over, people stop talking about it. I plan to keep talking about it when the month is over. I even got involved in a discussion when one person was putting down another who was trying to raise money for shirts with a slogan. Person A said Shirt Person wasn't actually trying to help people, but just promote a product. I looked back on Shirt Person's twitter and they did in fact speak more about mental health besides promoting the shirt. It seemed like Person A was angry about their own situation and was lashing out at someone. I said that any attempt to promote awareness helps (which is actually funny because I usually dislike gimmicks like shirts and ice bucket challenges or whatever when you could be actually talking about the issue). But I kind of see how if you wear a shirt with a slogan, people will go google that slogan and find out more about the issue. I think really passive support like clicking Like on something isn't as helpful, but maybe if you also repost/retweet whatever you liked, you're doing something more active.

I often think about my Twitter evolution. I've gone from NKOTB enthusiast to cooking tips to political opinions to mental health promotion. And I think it is great that Twitter is that kind of platform.

So I just got a notification that I've received credit for my reply on the Race Relations assignment. Gotta love internet!

Crossposts: https://becomingkate.livejournal.com/261558.html

My son got his class and teacher assignment, finally. He is getting the newly-hired 5th grade teacher and he's not terribly close with any of the boys in his class. He's not with his best friend which he's bummed about, but I do hope that not being so buddy-buddy with his classmates will help his focus.

I hope he doesn't get too discouraged with this placement. I hope that the new teacher works well with him.

Meanwhile, I also looked up my professors for the Fall, (ratemyprofessors.com is an awesome website) and it looks like the only one that might be a challenge is the astronomy. There are some funny reviews though, like "OMG I had to show up and study for this class" LOL. I'm a bit worried because a lot of people said that there was also online work for the astronomy class. But we will see. I have a pretty light schedule, with two weekdays of no classes at all, so I hope that will allow me the time I need.

I went back to Toastmasters last night and signed up to be a member. I'm a bit nervous but I think it will really help me. Last night was a comedic speech competition. Two guys from the group went and they were pretty good. I think it is hard to be funny during a rehearsed speech. I have no idea what I'd talk about.

Crossposts: http://becomingkate.livejournal.com/260953.html

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