I'm stiil here
Oct. 27th, 2009 10:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
becomingkateThings never seem to change with me. Every time they do change I'm just not comfortable with it and I go back to my old ways. I don't understand myself and I don't know if I ever will.
When I think about this, the future is very bleak. I keep thinking I'm working towards who I really am and who I really wanted to be. But then I think, maybe this is it. I'm just one of those people who never really belonged here, on earth, with a life, and a family, and other things I could affect with my misery. But still I'm here, and I don't know if there is a reason for it or if life is arbitrary and meaningless. I'm starting to think it was all one big mistake. There is no meaning of life, no mark you are supposed to leave on earth. We're supposed to get our life done and leave. That's why we're eating, smoking and drinking ourselves to death. It's supposed to be this way.
When I started this entry, I had no idea it would be this dark. I have no idea who or what is speaking through me, but I wish it would stop.
When I think about this, the future is very bleak. I keep thinking I'm working towards who I really am and who I really wanted to be. But then I think, maybe this is it. I'm just one of those people who never really belonged here, on earth, with a life, and a family, and other things I could affect with my misery. But still I'm here, and I don't know if there is a reason for it or if life is arbitrary and meaningless. I'm starting to think it was all one big mistake. There is no meaning of life, no mark you are supposed to leave on earth. We're supposed to get our life done and leave. That's why we're eating, smoking and drinking ourselves to death. It's supposed to be this way.
When I started this entry, I had no idea it would be this dark. I have no idea who or what is speaking through me, but I wish it would stop.
