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Aug. 31st, 2013 12:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
becomingkateDisclaimer: I'm extremely new to paganism. Some of my musings and discoveries might make you think "LOL noob" but I'm doing this all in earnest and I don't mean to offend. If I'm doing anything seriously wrong I'm open to advice. Just be nice to me :)
Also, I'm sorry about the change in fonts and sizes. Because I cut and pasted a couple things, I couldn't seem to make it all look the same.
So, this is sort of odd even for me, I keep thinking did this really happen?
Some of you know I've been thinking a lot about paganism lately. It came from being dissatisfied with my UU church, and thinking about going back to what I liked before I joined UUism as an adult (after leaving it when I graduated high school, I kind of drifted, showed up at a UU service here and there but never became a member of one until about 4 years ago).
Back when I was between churches, I just liked sort of earthy stuff. I have always collected semiprecious stones, candles, felt something special with nature and the night. I never believed in a god as Christans portray it, but more of just...beings that are out there, who live in us and live in nature.
So I think not really identifying with any religion in particular was sort of good but bad in a way because it didn't help give me any identity. "I am a UU" I'd say, but I wasn't wholeheartedly into it. I didn't feel like it was family, as people who really identify with it like to say. So I left the UU church, much to everyone's surprise. And paganism has been on my mind ever since. I did some reading about what it was all about and I liked what I read. Now I need to preface this by saying I didn't read about any specific names of gods or goddesses. I read a very general book that didn't really go into that.
A couple nights ago, I read that I should ask for guidance and keep an eye out for symbols and signs of which particular deities I could identify with. So I spoke to them. I drew a circle and said a few words about its purpose of protection and I stood in it. I said please, I'm looking for guidance, I don't know what exactly I'm looking for but I need help in finding out if this is the path for me.
Last night I had a dream. It made no sense-my husband, who used to own a store with me that has since closed, bought an online business and he was positively giddy over it. I believe it was an "online restaurant" which I guess made sense at the time and maybe came from the time I spent yesterday looking over a menu online before ordering some sushi. LOL brain. But anyway, and this is where it gets weird, the name of the place was very clear. I looked at the online menu and the name was right on it, and I think I've heard it's usual to be able to read things in dreams, but I did. It was called Demetria.
Now, I don't know a Demetria. The name means nothing to me. It sounded Greek to me but that was all I really recognized about it. I half woke up and made a mental note to look it up.
"Demetria is a given name, the feminine form of the Greek name Demetrius, which means 'follower of Demeter'.[1]"
Uh...wow. I mean, I'm seriously blown away by this. I believe in signs, but nothing like this has happened in a very long time.
Amongst other things, she is the goddess of the harvest. I also found this:
"Call upon Demeter to give you courage to face any adversity, she will also help guide you through any family issues."
Anyone who reads my journal knows that we have a multitude of family issues. Did I just find my goddess? Rather, did she find me?
Also, I'm sorry about the change in fonts and sizes. Because I cut and pasted a couple things, I couldn't seem to make it all look the same.
So, this is sort of odd even for me, I keep thinking did this really happen?
Some of you know I've been thinking a lot about paganism lately. It came from being dissatisfied with my UU church, and thinking about going back to what I liked before I joined UUism as an adult (after leaving it when I graduated high school, I kind of drifted, showed up at a UU service here and there but never became a member of one until about 4 years ago).
Back when I was between churches, I just liked sort of earthy stuff. I have always collected semiprecious stones, candles, felt something special with nature and the night. I never believed in a god as Christans portray it, but more of just...beings that are out there, who live in us and live in nature.
So I think not really identifying with any religion in particular was sort of good but bad in a way because it didn't help give me any identity. "I am a UU" I'd say, but I wasn't wholeheartedly into it. I didn't feel like it was family, as people who really identify with it like to say. So I left the UU church, much to everyone's surprise. And paganism has been on my mind ever since. I did some reading about what it was all about and I liked what I read. Now I need to preface this by saying I didn't read about any specific names of gods or goddesses. I read a very general book that didn't really go into that.
A couple nights ago, I read that I should ask for guidance and keep an eye out for symbols and signs of which particular deities I could identify with. So I spoke to them. I drew a circle and said a few words about its purpose of protection and I stood in it. I said please, I'm looking for guidance, I don't know what exactly I'm looking for but I need help in finding out if this is the path for me.
Last night I had a dream. It made no sense-my husband, who used to own a store with me that has since closed, bought an online business and he was positively giddy over it. I believe it was an "online restaurant" which I guess made sense at the time and maybe came from the time I spent yesterday looking over a menu online before ordering some sushi. LOL brain. But anyway, and this is where it gets weird, the name of the place was very clear. I looked at the online menu and the name was right on it, and I think I've heard it's usual to be able to read things in dreams, but I did. It was called Demetria.
Now, I don't know a Demetria. The name means nothing to me. It sounded Greek to me but that was all I really recognized about it. I half woke up and made a mental note to look it up.
"Demetria is a given name, the feminine form of the Greek name Demetrius, which means 'follower of Demeter'.[1]"
Uh...wow. I mean, I'm seriously blown away by this. I believe in signs, but nothing like this has happened in a very long time.
Amongst other things, she is the goddess of the harvest. I also found this:
"Call upon Demeter to give you courage to face any adversity, she will also help guide you through any family issues."
Anyone who reads my journal knows that we have a multitude of family issues. Did I just find my goddess? Rather, did she find me?
