So, I did two big things yesterday.
First, I applied to volunteer at a crisis intervention chat site. You have to fill out an application and a survey and then you have to skype with one of their employees and then raise money to fund the training, and then you are supervised in real chat situations and then I suppose you're on your own. (At any of these points, they can decide you're not right for the position and decline your application.) The chat platform, as opposed to a phone hotline, appeals to me because I'm not very good on the phone. The down side is the skype interview. I not only have to talk on the phone, but the person can see me while we do it? I don't even skype with family members. I've done very well, avoiding skype and facetime (an iphone thing) with my family members, and now I have to do it with a stranger. Yikes.
But I'm really pretty excited about that. I have always wanted to be a support for people. Right out of high school I wanted to be a psychologist. I was in peer support group and I was a mentor to incoming freshmen at my high school. I was a mentor at church to younger kids. Then I went to college and it was scary. Unfortunate things happened and I dropped out but I always regretted not following through. I'm less eager to go to college now because ugh, college. So I think this training thing, no bullshit where you have to take classes that have nothing to do with what you want to do, will work out for me. I'm home all day and can definitely set aside the couple hours a day they estimate it will take for me to finish the training in the allotted time. (You have to finish within a certain time after you apply or they drop your application).
I think that because I've dealt with depression and hopelessness (and still do), that I can help people who are experiencing it. It's one thing to have never felt that kind of despair, and to imagine it and tell someone "I know how you feel", but you really don't. That's not to say that people who haven't been depressed can't be good counselors.
The next thing I did was create a blog. I made it yesterday on blogger or blogspot or whatever is that's connected with Google and then I couldn't freaking find it when I finished and it wouldn't let me make a customized name so I was like, 1038557463.blogspot.com, and I couldn't find my way back to make another post...so I moved it to Wordpress. Custom name that makes sense, no weird login with Google+ or whatever, easy peasy.
I've made many blogs. If you dig deep enough you'll find my work on four or five different wordpress blogs and you might even find my first blog on diaryland, if it's still around. But this, I hope this is for real. My husband came up with an awful, superficial, stereotypical idea and I turned it into an idea I can live with. If you read my first entry you'll get the whole story.
Now, this is how I am with new things. I adore it for a week or two and then it gets tossed to the side of the path, strewn along with the other pieces of things I once thought I'd want to devote my life to. And I find something new, and I think, "Now THIS, this is what I was born for", and that too gets forgotten. This is where I need you. How can you help me? Visit my blog and spread the word. If something resonates with you, you can like my posts, share them on your facebook or twitter or even link to them on your LJ or DW journal or wherever you have a website.
Oh, the link. I'd appreciate it if you take a look. weightandseeme.wordpress.com/