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Sep. 24th, 2013 09:36 am I feel like all my communities are fading away :( I left my UU church. NKOTB isn't doing anything, so there's nothing to talk about with those fans. My small mother's group that spun off of a bigger website had a falling out, and then another one, and all of a sudden it feels like people I've been friends with for years are just gone, or not what they seemed to be. I heard from one of the moms I talk to frequently, that another one of us was "mean girl" to her and while I think this "mean girl" is kind of naive, I've never seen her be mean before and I'm like, what do I believe here? Because the girl she was supposedly mean to has been going through a lot lately, and while I don't disbelieve her, I think maybe she might be a little more sensitive than she normally would be, maybe seeing a mean girl attitude when that's not what was intended. I don't know.
But it's like, we don't all get along anymore and that makes me sad. When the first fallout happened, I pointed out that this can happen when online friends get to know each other beyond the common factor that they all have, such as being a parent (or wanting to be, for the two women who are still trying to conceive or adopt). Some people totally agreed but I didn't think the fallout would go so far, and then happen again with two totally different people whom I didn't even notice not getting along.
Somehow it all makes sense though. At this time when I'm trying to change where I am in my life, of course it makes sense that some of my friends and fan groups are going to fall away. Online people who are not what they seem are falling away. People I laugh with about NKOTB are very superficial friends and that can only last so long. When the source of conversation isn't providing more material, either you find other things to talk about or you lose touch. Only the one I've managed to make a sort of long distance friendship with is sticking around, and boy was she driving me nuts last night, but that's a different story. The church "friends" who'd say hi to me at church, mostly knew me if they had kids my son's age. Some of them knew my name, some of them didn't. Some of them thought they knew my name, but called me something I'm not.
On the up side, I've gotten to know a few people at LJ/DW better. On the down side of that, the ontdc comm is slowing down. I can't help but think about what this time of year represents, which I've learned about over the past couple weeks--light and dark, harvest and death, sadness and hope--two sides to everything, and I can see those two sides in everything.
But it's like, we don't all get along anymore and that makes me sad. When the first fallout happened, I pointed out that this can happen when online friends get to know each other beyond the common factor that they all have, such as being a parent (or wanting to be, for the two women who are still trying to conceive or adopt). Some people totally agreed but I didn't think the fallout would go so far, and then happen again with two totally different people whom I didn't even notice not getting along.
Somehow it all makes sense though. At this time when I'm trying to change where I am in my life, of course it makes sense that some of my friends and fan groups are going to fall away. Online people who are not what they seem are falling away. People I laugh with about NKOTB are very superficial friends and that can only last so long. When the source of conversation isn't providing more material, either you find other things to talk about or you lose touch. Only the one I've managed to make a sort of long distance friendship with is sticking around, and boy was she driving me nuts last night, but that's a different story. The church "friends" who'd say hi to me at church, mostly knew me if they had kids my son's age. Some of them knew my name, some of them didn't. Some of them thought they knew my name, but called me something I'm not.
On the up side, I've gotten to know a few people at LJ/DW better. On the down side of that, the ontdc comm is slowing down. I can't help but think about what this time of year represents, which I've learned about over the past couple weeks--light and dark, harvest and death, sadness and hope--two sides to everything, and I can see those two sides in everything.
