Doing more things that scare me

[becomingkate]

Today I actually made steps towards starting my personal chef business.  I opened a bank account, paid for the insurance, and tried to look for equipment online.  Our day was full of fail and suck though so I lost motivation around halfway through the day, ate a bunch of crap I shouldn't have eaten, and nearly strangled my son to death over an argument about medicine (the peak of it being when I handed him a cup of water to wash it down with and he calmly dumped it on the floor, also known as How to send mommy to an insane asylum 101)

So yes, in good and bad ways I am scaring myself. 

Because of the epic struggle over a stupid medicine strip--which I did partake in to see what the fuss was all about, and it indeed tasted like crap--we missed his music class and I caved and let him play on the computer.  My husband should be home soon and then I will have another set of struggles to contend with, such as why I do not feel loved when he comes home, scarfs down dinner and makes a beeline to the computer, and comes up with increasingly fascinating ways to block me out such as clapping headphones over his ears so he can talk to his World of Warcraft buddies instead of me.  Or how everything he suggests we do together either involves really passive involvement such as playing online together or watching more movies, or has to do with sex, which I don't enjoy unless I'm *just* drunk enough.

I'm sorry, this started off as a positive post but quickly went downhill.  I suck at this.

Comments

[roonilwazlib6.livejournal.com]

I think it's AWESOME that you took steps toward starting your business! Even those few steps alone would have scared the crap out of me.

I'm sorry that the rest of your day wasn't very good. :( Would your husband ever try going to a marriage counselor of any sort? Just to help with communication, even. Before Joe and I get married, since neither of us are Christian and won't have counseling with a religious official, we're going to go to a family counselor instead. I know people who have had great success in doing that, even if it just helps them communicate better.

*hugs* Hope your tomorrow is better for you!

[becomingkate.livejournal.com]

We tried going to a couple different couples therapy, but they always just want to focus on me alone. I'm going to therapy alone now, and she helps me quite a bit with dealing with my son. He's the toughest thing for me right now, so I don't talk to her much about my husband.
Thanks for the comment :)