My spirited child
Oct. 19th, 2012 12:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
becomingkateI bought a book called Raising Your Spirited Child. I found a couple on the topic and this seemed to be the best. I know how it's going to go-it'll rope me in with the "you're not alone, and you're not a bad parent" thing, it'll make me cry with its spot-on description of our son and then it'll tell me how all his "difficult" (which you're not supposed to say because it's too negative) qualities will actually be blessings someday.
I'm not trying to dismiss the book, I just know how these things go. I've read a lot. :P
But at this point I'm so desperate for a new approach. I haven't talked about it much but I've been at odds with our son pretty much since he turned 3, which is almost 3 years now. Parenting has never been easy for me but it has gotten especially difficult over that period of time. I get constant arguing, stubbornness that can't be diffused without physical removal from the situation (followed by him screaming, kicking, throwing things, knocking things over)
I took him to a therapist maybe a year or so ago and she all but laughed at me, saying he was an angel compared to what she usually sees. So because he wasn't destroying her office or swearing at me, he apparently is just a normal child, which makes me feel like a horrible parent for not being able to deal with him.
So, I found out there is this term which I feel is a little bit hippie-dippie, called "spirited". Basically a child who is stronger willed or more stubborn or more explosive, more reactive than your average child is a spirited child. The ones who need to be right, or need to argue, or need to prove a point. Yeah, the ones who when they become adults, we call assholes. LOL
I'm not saying my son is an asshole. He's 5. He has an excuse, for now. But the way we are going, one of us is not going to make it to his adult years.
Often, spirited children are misdiagnosed with ADD, which is interesting because I recently have concerns that he has ADD. Both me and my husband exhibit symptoms so it wouldn't be a big surprise if he did. But I really do hope that it's just this "spirit" that I can learn to manage with and nurture.
Hmm...I don't know what I did to my journal. If it's hard to read let me know how I can change it, will ya?
I'm not trying to dismiss the book, I just know how these things go. I've read a lot. :P
But at this point I'm so desperate for a new approach. I haven't talked about it much but I've been at odds with our son pretty much since he turned 3, which is almost 3 years now. Parenting has never been easy for me but it has gotten especially difficult over that period of time. I get constant arguing, stubbornness that can't be diffused without physical removal from the situation (followed by him screaming, kicking, throwing things, knocking things over)
I took him to a therapist maybe a year or so ago and she all but laughed at me, saying he was an angel compared to what she usually sees. So because he wasn't destroying her office or swearing at me, he apparently is just a normal child, which makes me feel like a horrible parent for not being able to deal with him.
So, I found out there is this term which I feel is a little bit hippie-dippie, called "spirited". Basically a child who is stronger willed or more stubborn or more explosive, more reactive than your average child is a spirited child. The ones who need to be right, or need to argue, or need to prove a point. Yeah, the ones who when they become adults, we call assholes. LOL
I'm not saying my son is an asshole. He's 5. He has an excuse, for now. But the way we are going, one of us is not going to make it to his adult years.
Often, spirited children are misdiagnosed with ADD, which is interesting because I recently have concerns that he has ADD. Both me and my husband exhibit symptoms so it wouldn't be a big surprise if he did. But I really do hope that it's just this "spirit" that I can learn to manage with and nurture.
Hmm...I don't know what I did to my journal. If it's hard to read let me know how I can change it, will ya?
