(no subject)

[becomingkate]

I just got a call from our church minister asking me and my son to light the chalice this week at church.  I'm excited because everyone's going to be there, because it's the intergenerational Thanksgiving service.  Only the babies and very young children get child care and everyone else goes to the service.  I'm really proud to be carrying something on from my childhood (going to a UU church and getting involved).  I'm not great at carrying on traditions or making a habit of things and I'm just glad that we have this.  It upsets me that my husband doesn't have any interest in it, but then, he has little to no interest in anything I do.  It's not his fault we don't enjoy the same things but it makes me sad sometimes.  I had pictured something different for our marriage--doing things alongside each other, hand in hand, laughing at the same things, enjoying the same things, valuing the same things, being together in every sense of the word.  I realize that's more of a fairy tale than anything, now.  I realize if I wanted someone like that, I should have picked someone else.  But I picked the easy route-I picked the first person who overlooked my biggest flaws and said he loved me even though there were some major red flags that we would not get along so well forever.

I feel like I've made my bed and now I have to lay in it.  For better or for worse, right?