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Aug. 14th, 2013 12:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
becomingkate So confused...last night my MIL called in a huff at 9:30: "I wouldn't call so late but you guys never called me to tell me what time to pick up your son." My husband told me that she was supposed to call us. So then she goes, well I'll come get him around 11:30 tomorrow and bring him back around dinner. Which was weird because we thought she was keeping him overnight, but whatever. So she came today (and I had to keep telling my son to wait, not to eat lunch, we can't watch a movie, because I didn't want to be in the middle of something when she came) and she says "So I'll probably drop him off around 10 tomorrow because I'm going to the beach later". Okay so now the overnight plan is back on? Yay!
Unfortunately my husband doesn't love going out to dinner and we've been going out a lot so I think he's sick of everything. Me, I could be one of those people who never uses her kitchen.
I feel completely stressed to the max. Things are a teeny bit better with Josh because he told me something the other day that sort of helps me understand why he's so defiant. He likes to play a game in his head when we have a disagreement. He says he gets points whenever he challenges me. So I need to figure out how to turn that around. I started talking to my mommy friends online again. I hate it but I need them. I don't so much like them as I just...need them. Now you guys, I like you guys.
But things with my husband are just...strained. I feel like there's a huge communication gap. Last night he was on World of Warcraft. I watched this week's Dexter, had a couple drinks and snacks and came to the computer. Around 11 my husband was apparently done and he was like well, see you upstairs and he proceeded to turn off all the lights other than the office and go upstairs. He didn't give me like a 5 minute warning to wrap it up. I walked in with a bowl of popcorn 5 minutes before he was done. I felt abandoned and not cared about and I cried my drunk ass to sleep. I drank too much. It's a problem, this drinking alone thing. It probably colored the whole fallout a little uglier than it actually was, but maybe not. My heart just hurts. I wanted someone who'd care for me. Not just about me but for me. Like help my drunk self up the stairs if I need it, hang around for a second at least while I clean up my dishes and turn off my computer. At the very least, leave a light on for me.
It's like, he's good at kind gestures on a bigger scale. He buys us tickets to events, never forgets our anniversary or Valentines Day or my birthday, goes crazy at Christmas time, buying things beyond our means. But he sucks at the daily acts of kindness, or even consideration, which puts a certain feeling of obligation on the holidays and special occasions. I don't understand it.
Unfortunately my husband doesn't love going out to dinner and we've been going out a lot so I think he's sick of everything. Me, I could be one of those people who never uses her kitchen.
I feel completely stressed to the max. Things are a teeny bit better with Josh because he told me something the other day that sort of helps me understand why he's so defiant. He likes to play a game in his head when we have a disagreement. He says he gets points whenever he challenges me. So I need to figure out how to turn that around. I started talking to my mommy friends online again. I hate it but I need them. I don't so much like them as I just...need them. Now you guys, I like you guys.
But things with my husband are just...strained. I feel like there's a huge communication gap. Last night he was on World of Warcraft. I watched this week's Dexter, had a couple drinks and snacks and came to the computer. Around 11 my husband was apparently done and he was like well, see you upstairs and he proceeded to turn off all the lights other than the office and go upstairs. He didn't give me like a 5 minute warning to wrap it up. I walked in with a bowl of popcorn 5 minutes before he was done. I felt abandoned and not cared about and I cried my drunk ass to sleep. I drank too much. It's a problem, this drinking alone thing. It probably colored the whole fallout a little uglier than it actually was, but maybe not. My heart just hurts. I wanted someone who'd care for me. Not just about me but for me. Like help my drunk self up the stairs if I need it, hang around for a second at least while I clean up my dishes and turn off my computer. At the very least, leave a light on for me.
It's like, he's good at kind gestures on a bigger scale. He buys us tickets to events, never forgets our anniversary or Valentines Day or my birthday, goes crazy at Christmas time, buying things beyond our means. But he sucks at the daily acts of kindness, or even consideration, which puts a certain feeling of obligation on the holidays and special occasions. I don't understand it.
