(no subject)
Nov. 10th, 2013 06:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
becomingkate My son got his white-yellow belt from karate on Friday. We went to the graduation ceremony for all the kids who were getting new belts. It was fun and really great to see him up there with no stage fright, doing a great job. I remind him that the majority of people are afraid of going on stage in front of a bunch of people and performing, or even speaking. He did great.
I've been trying this "marriage is not for you" mindset and it really seems to help and it also has helped me notice the things my husband does for me. The idea is that you don't go into marriage for yourself-it's to make your partner, and children, if you have them, happy. Of course it is flawed, because if the people in the family with you don't see it the same way, you're going to be unhappy pretty quick. But I do realize that my husband does a lot so I don't have to. So I try to do the same. Sure, I'd love to sit on my ass and watch tv all day while he works, but last week I raked some leaves for him, I cook his food and do laundry when I think of it, I try to get to things that I know he wants to do, if he's not finding the time to do them. And in return, he does a lot of cleaning, and does his best with our son (he can be very trying, as you've seen me describe). Yeah sure, sometimes he (my husband) needs to grow the fuck up and he's a jerk sometimes but hey, so am I. There are days when I don't do a damn thing and I blow up at my husband for something that isn't really his fault or I say something totally hypocritical.
I believe if you put out effort and love, you get it back. If you go into something thinking, what's in it for me? you're less likely to find the answer. If you go into something expecting to get hurt, you are more likely to get hurt because you give out that vulnerable vibe and you're more likely to be targeted.
I also know that shitty things happen for no reason. Even if you go into something expecting the best, it can still fall apart for no good reason. But if you see it as more of a fluke and not just more of the same normal shit that you deserve then I think you're more likely to bounce back and move on and not let it happen again.
Okay, I'm not entirely sure where that all came from. To be honest, the bomb threat really affected me. I was sitting by the window that day, waiting for my son's bus and I was thinking, what if this is it? What if this is the day our life changes--we lose our son or we find out he was hurt or that he saw something horrible happen and our lives change forever. It really scared me. Since that day I've tried to be more patient. Yeah, it's only been 4 days, but that's a long time for me to go without flipping my lid. I've just tried to appreciate more. It seems like fewer things matter. I'm extremely thankful that I seem to have learned this lesson without any major life changes. Some people don't get that chance.
I've been trying this "marriage is not for you" mindset and it really seems to help and it also has helped me notice the things my husband does for me. The idea is that you don't go into marriage for yourself-it's to make your partner, and children, if you have them, happy. Of course it is flawed, because if the people in the family with you don't see it the same way, you're going to be unhappy pretty quick. But I do realize that my husband does a lot so I don't have to. So I try to do the same. Sure, I'd love to sit on my ass and watch tv all day while he works, but last week I raked some leaves for him, I cook his food and do laundry when I think of it, I try to get to things that I know he wants to do, if he's not finding the time to do them. And in return, he does a lot of cleaning, and does his best with our son (he can be very trying, as you've seen me describe). Yeah sure, sometimes he (my husband) needs to grow the fuck up and he's a jerk sometimes but hey, so am I. There are days when I don't do a damn thing and I blow up at my husband for something that isn't really his fault or I say something totally hypocritical.
I believe if you put out effort and love, you get it back. If you go into something thinking, what's in it for me? you're less likely to find the answer. If you go into something expecting to get hurt, you are more likely to get hurt because you give out that vulnerable vibe and you're more likely to be targeted.
I also know that shitty things happen for no reason. Even if you go into something expecting the best, it can still fall apart for no good reason. But if you see it as more of a fluke and not just more of the same normal shit that you deserve then I think you're more likely to bounce back and move on and not let it happen again.
Okay, I'm not entirely sure where that all came from. To be honest, the bomb threat really affected me. I was sitting by the window that day, waiting for my son's bus and I was thinking, what if this is it? What if this is the day our life changes--we lose our son or we find out he was hurt or that he saw something horrible happen and our lives change forever. It really scared me. Since that day I've tried to be more patient. Yeah, it's only been 4 days, but that's a long time for me to go without flipping my lid. I've just tried to appreciate more. It seems like fewer things matter. I'm extremely thankful that I seem to have learned this lesson without any major life changes. Some people don't get that chance.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-11 06:29 pm (UTC)I hope life gives you all things awesome... and because you try hard and have hope, I think it will. :)
no subject
Date: 2013-11-12 01:35 am (UTC)