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Apr. 30th, 2013 02:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
becomingkate I seriously feel like I've become darn unlikable! I've had some less than popular opinions, apparently, on this parenting board I visit and the spin-off facebook group a few of us formed. I feel like the odd one out (as usual)-They're for the most part really super smart, or they home school and run a day care, or have toddler twins plus a baby, or teenage kids plus younger kids, or their kids are geniuses... And I'm just this little dumpy woman with one kid and a husband, and I'm not working, not going to school, can't stand being around my kid or husband for more than a few minutes. So what do I do? Sometimes I get on a roll and I might pass judgement on things I don't truly understand. Or I have a different perspective.
Like seriously, I'm tired of this opinion that men who expect to have sex with their partners are pigs. Like women never get pissed off if they don't get any. Yes, women do tend to take care of the kids and do housework and cook while the man works. Or maybe the woman works and the husband stays home. Either way, usually both people are damn tired at the end of the day, so what is up with this double standard where men are not allowed to whine if they don't get enough sex but goodness knows that a woman can and will raise a stink (no pun intended) if she's horny and her husband's tired?
Please feel free to explain this to me. As I understand it, humans as a whole have a sexual need. Maybe I don't understand it, because I have very little of that need. I'm just not really sure why men who don't get enough sex are jerks for complaining about it. All women like to do is complain about how they're fat and nobody wants them and then they get a guy who actually wants them and they complain about it. I don't get it.
Like seriously, I'm tired of this opinion that men who expect to have sex with their partners are pigs. Like women never get pissed off if they don't get any. Yes, women do tend to take care of the kids and do housework and cook while the man works. Or maybe the woman works and the husband stays home. Either way, usually both people are damn tired at the end of the day, so what is up with this double standard where men are not allowed to whine if they don't get enough sex but goodness knows that a woman can and will raise a stink (no pun intended) if she's horny and her husband's tired?
Please feel free to explain this to me. As I understand it, humans as a whole have a sexual need. Maybe I don't understand it, because I have very little of that need. I'm just not really sure why men who don't get enough sex are jerks for complaining about it. All women like to do is complain about how they're fat and nobody wants them and then they get a guy who actually wants them and they complain about it. I don't get it.
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Date: 2013-04-30 06:54 pm (UTC)We pretty much live celibate over here, and that is NOT by my choice. And guess what it's frustrating as hell but he can't help it his depression knocks him for six. It's hard and eventually I'll have to really work out whether I can hack it without sex or if it's time to find another partner, but either way it's not about which gender we are or about us being pigs or selfish because we have or don't have sexual needs/drives.
Also you aren't "boring" you just live a life different to their lives, which, hell, might be "boring" to someone like me, who couldn't possibly give a fuck about the kind of twitholes who blather endlessly about their magical special snowflake children as if having no lives outside their damn kids makes them the flower of Womanhood.
I turn my nose up in their general direction! I mean I'm sorry for making this an UsThem thing but ugh, that kind of attitude just boils my blood. You have interests outside of JUST home and family, which frankly will make you a much more well rounded person who will be way better prepared, IMO, when your kid starts to grow up and need more space and freedom. It's something you struggle with now when your child needs a lot of attention and care, but you mark my words, it's going to serve you well when he gets to a stage where he wants to explore and not feel smothered, and he'll have an easier time feeling close to you because he won't feel like you think he's abandoning you. I bet he's going to be a fun, interesting guy you're going to be proud to know, and he's going to feel so secure knowing his mom trusts him and doesn't need to keep the apron strings strapped to him or define herself by him.
SO THERE, STUCKUPPITY GRANOLA-STEPFORD UBER MOMMIEZ. D:
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Date: 2013-04-30 09:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-30 09:43 pm (UTC)Yeah, that can be awkward too. I'm sorry! I wish there were better parent resources out there in general. Like ways for all different sorts of parents to be able to connect with those who would be the most supportive and helpful to each other.
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Date: 2013-05-01 03:22 pm (UTC)Yes...I wish there was more honesty out there besides the random blog post that makes the rounds once in a while for being refreshing about how much parenting can suck. :P Even when I do find websites for parents who are fed up, it feels like a novelty thing that's there as sort of comic relief instead of being serious. Those posts always end with "but you're going to look up one day and your child will be an adult" and it's meant to be all bittersweet and I'm thinking, "I can't wait!" LOL