Doubt

[becomingkate]

 You know those days when you're working towards a goal and then all of a sudden you're like, can I even do this if it does happen? Is getting there more exciting and productive than the actual achievement of the goal?

I dunno, I was just at the nkotb concert and as always, social events like that tend to solidify the fact that I have no social skills at all.  I'm okay with H, who I talk to on twitter all the time and she talks non-stop so even if I did have nothing to say to her, she'd fill the gaps (and does, anyway).  But I was with H, and we ran into two girls I met on one of the cruises who also know H, I think it was the 2012 one, although I may have briefly seen them on the 2011 cruise.  I had no idea what to say to them.  It didn't help that I don't know if those girls even like me or not.  You know when people you know are friends with people who don't like you...you're not sure which side they're on.  They seem perfectly nice but then again they didn't exactly try to strike up a conversation with me either.  It was just kind of awkward and of course H was talking on and on with some other girl and I was like please, just get me out of here.

And it got me wondering, how am I going to handle it if, by some miracle, I do end up doing this cookbook with Danny?  It's going to be a huge deal and I'm going to run into lots of people who don't actually like me but are going to kiss up to me because they want to be involved in a cookbook with Danny.  And I've just never really been in that situation before.  I've always been the one it's okay to ignore because I'm not important.  People don't need to be on my good side to gain anything, I'm just kinda neutral with everyone until they do me wrong and then I just don't talk to them anymore.  Easy.  I have a feeling if this cookbook thing does happen I'm going to get caught up in exactly the same politics and gossip that I am trying to distance myself from right now.  

Of course, I'm getting ahead of myself.  I don't even know if the cookbook is going to happen.  I bet if it does, he's going to do it through Remember Betty and I could be a part of it but there's no way I'd be the only fan involved.  So it's probably not going to be as huge as I'm making it out to be, but I still wish I was more socially adept so I could at least handle making small talk with someone I don't know anything about.

Comments

"It didn't help that I don't know if those girls even like me or not"

[disgruntledgirl]

Same to you, they probably did not know if you were like the person you were mentioning that continually backstabs people. In fact, it appears her actions have you on edge around other people.
You have to step forward and be on your best behavior since that's really the only thing you can control. You.
They were more than likely feeling awkward, too. Gotta build a bridge. What you learn there you can apply to this future cookbook deal.
Remember you can be friendly without being friends, just be ready to accept that from others, too.

Re: "It didn't help that I don't know if those girls even like me or not"

[becomingkate]

That makes so much sense! It's not really her fault I was on edge though. I always feel a bit cornered when I'm introduced to someone new or I run into someone I barely know (which is most people). I really should have chatted them up more about the show, asked them if they were going to any other shows, where they were staying, etc. It's just that all that seems to go out the window when I'm in a situation like that. Ugh!