(no subject)

[becomingkate]

So, one of our cats unexpectedly passed away yesterday.  She had been getting old and tired, and spent most of her time sleeping, so it wasn't really odd if you didn't see her all day.  She liked to sleep behind my husband's computer tower.  So my son and I were just doing our thing all day and my husband was at work.  My husband came home and he was puttering around, gathering the tickets for the baseball game later that night, etc.  And he looked under our computer desk and she was under there.  She was on her side and she often slept like that.  But as he reached down to pet her he pulled his hand away and I immediately knew.  We sent our son outside and put her in a big paper bag while I proceeded to lose my shit.  I'd just spent goodness knows how long in the house with her.  I hadn't seen her all day, I'd told my son he couldn't come in to the office to play on the computer because he'd had too much screen time on the tv and xbox.  What if I had let him come into the office?  What if we'd found her struggling, could we have saved her? What if she'd already passed away, how would we deal?  I still can't decide if it was good or bad that we didn't find her and my husband did.

So now guilt settles in.  And it sucks.

So then we all had to get to the baseball game because my son was one of the kids who was being recognized for doing the summer reading program.  He got up to the mic and said his name so fast I didn't get a pic of him on the big screen.  Arg!  He got bored by the third inning and we went home.  

Losing pets sucks, guys.  .

Comments

[seventhbard]

Oh sweetie. *huge big soft hugs*

Losing pets does suck, so much. But she went quietly on her own and if she was struggling to stay, she probably would have tried to let you know. I'm so sorry it was so sudden for you and you had to find out like that.

But it was NOT your fault.

Lots of love.

[becomingkate]

Thanks. I just can't handle it. We've got one more cat who's about the same age and then the dog who's still young. I don't want to go through this again twice :(