(no subject)

 Because it's too inappropriate for facebook (I've got family on there so I can't possibly be my real self, LOL) and too long for twitter, I'm sharing this story with you guys...although I know this isn't really the group of friends who'd appreciate it most, maybe you'll get a chuckle out of it.

All three of us were talking about Santa Claus and I said something like "Santa never brings me presents," and my husband said "That's because all you ever ask for is Joey McIntyre (from NKOTB) wearing a bow."  (trying to keep it PG for the little one)  And my son piped up and said "Yeah, he 'd be wearing it around his butt!"  Then he thought for a minute and said "No...his penis!" and just started laughing hysterically.

And here we were trying to keep it clean for him!

(no subject)

 Finally caved and bought my son velcro shoes.  We can fight the tying shoes battle later when he's older and (hopefully) more rational and willing to learn a way that actually works.  He says he does it right but his shoes are constantly untied.  I got tired of speaking to him every day about it and watching him walk out of his shoes because they weren't tied tight.  Fuck it.

So now his pants keep falling down.  I bought him a belt.  Where is the belt?  Hell if I know.  But ever since he was a baby he's been too skinny for all the pants that are the right length, even the ones with the adjustable belt on the inside of the waistband.  So fuck that too.  

I forgot how much he gets on my nerves on Saturdays.  It seems like my husband has had a lot of Saturdays off or he has been home really early because I can't remember the last time I had to spend a whole Saturday alone with my son.  And those rubber band bracelets?  I thought they were going to be easy.  I was going to do one to show him how to do it and I can't do it.  Does anyone have kids or friends' kids who do them? I bought him the "as seen on tv" loom.  Now I'm noticing that Rainbow Loom is the original and most popular, but they all seem pretty much the same.  Still, I can't figure it out.  Whenever I'm only supposed to unhook one part of the band, the whole thing flies off and goes across the room.  So (all together now), fuck that too.