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becomingkate As my son got on the bus this morning, the driver beckoned to me and I leaned in. He said "Your son drew a picture for me yesterday. My wife is an art teacher and I showed it to her and she really thinks he has some talent."
Well, I already knew he had some talent. I have a picture he drew of his room, and it's a wonderful perspective. It's from the perspective of say, a fly on the wall by his bed, and it shows his bed, and the door, and the window and his dressers, and he managed to show the whole room in 2D but you can totally see the angles of the room. Sort of like the Van Gogh painting of the room if you were over on the wall with the pictures on it. http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/gogh/gogh.chambre-arles.jpg (link there if you want to see it, because apparently it's too early for me to figure out how to embed it, just like I couldn't figure out how to turn on the tv yesterday morning)
Anyway, what pleased me more than hearing from someone else that he's talented, was that he drew a picture for his bus driver. He's always giving, always wants to give Christmas cards to all the kids on his bus and his whole class and all his teachers and the bus driver, and making things to bring to school for his friends. I think he is his true self with his peers and authority figures... and mom and dad are here to be mistreated. It's comforting in a way, that we are the only people he mistreats. And then sometimes it's frustrating as all hell.
It's really weird to see things both ways-to see how wonderful he is and how infuriating he is at the same time. I still think he's going to be one of those brilliant people who everyone hates except maybe that one special person who gets him. I always hear "Kudos to you" and "You're doing something right" but honestly I believe whatever it is that makes him so good to other people is innate. I can hardly be given credit. I don't know if it's a horrible thing to think your son is going to grow up to be an asshole. I hope it doesn't happen, but I'm trying to prepare for it.
As I re-read this part after posting, it come across as confusing to me. How can he be so wonderful and so thoughtless at the same time? How can he make pictures for his bus driver and write little notes to his teacher and want to give away the stickers he got for Easter and at the same time be very bossy and controlling and falls apart the second things don't go his way?
When he lost his tooth the other day, it occurred to me that I haven't been keeping up with milestones. This makes me sad because I have nothing but time and goodness knows I could have just created an online diary the day he was born and written in it every day. But I was always reluctant to write about him; I live and breathe him for heaven's sake, why would I want to write down everything he says or every cute move he makes or every little milestone? And then I regret that because maybe someday when he and his loved one have kids he'll say, "Mom, where's my baby book?" and I won't have one for him. I'll have pages and pages of online posts of frustration mixed with realizations of his awesomeness but I won't remember his first word or when he took his first step, because I thought those were the things I'd always remember. It turns out that what I do remember are the things I did. The times I was unfair with a punishment. The times I told him to hurry up when he was trying to admire a rainbow on the wall. And yes, some good things too-the time I took the time to let him figure something out for himself instead of helping him or rushing him. The times I surprised him (before he started hating surprises), the time I let him believe he taught a little bird how to fly. Maybe I should have done a book of my milestones instead. "I let my son brush his teeth without criticizing him today. It was a good day."
Sigh. He really is amazing. I'm just too close to really appreciate it. It's the curse of parenthood, I guess.
Well, I already knew he had some talent. I have a picture he drew of his room, and it's a wonderful perspective. It's from the perspective of say, a fly on the wall by his bed, and it shows his bed, and the door, and the window and his dressers, and he managed to show the whole room in 2D but you can totally see the angles of the room. Sort of like the Van Gogh painting of the room if you were over on the wall with the pictures on it. http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/gogh/gogh.chambre-arles.jpg (link there if you want to see it, because apparently it's too early for me to figure out how to embed it, just like I couldn't figure out how to turn on the tv yesterday morning)
Anyway, what pleased me more than hearing from someone else that he's talented, was that he drew a picture for his bus driver. He's always giving, always wants to give Christmas cards to all the kids on his bus and his whole class and all his teachers and the bus driver, and making things to bring to school for his friends. I think he is his true self with his peers and authority figures... and mom and dad are here to be mistreated. It's comforting in a way, that we are the only people he mistreats. And then sometimes it's frustrating as all hell.
It's really weird to see things both ways-to see how wonderful he is and how infuriating he is at the same time. I still think he's going to be one of those brilliant people who everyone hates except maybe that one special person who gets him. I always hear "Kudos to you" and "You're doing something right" but honestly I believe whatever it is that makes him so good to other people is innate. I can hardly be given credit. I don't know if it's a horrible thing to think your son is going to grow up to be an asshole. I hope it doesn't happen, but I'm trying to prepare for it.
As I re-read this part after posting, it come across as confusing to me. How can he be so wonderful and so thoughtless at the same time? How can he make pictures for his bus driver and write little notes to his teacher and want to give away the stickers he got for Easter and at the same time be very bossy and controlling and falls apart the second things don't go his way?
When he lost his tooth the other day, it occurred to me that I haven't been keeping up with milestones. This makes me sad because I have nothing but time and goodness knows I could have just created an online diary the day he was born and written in it every day. But I was always reluctant to write about him; I live and breathe him for heaven's sake, why would I want to write down everything he says or every cute move he makes or every little milestone? And then I regret that because maybe someday when he and his loved one have kids he'll say, "Mom, where's my baby book?" and I won't have one for him. I'll have pages and pages of online posts of frustration mixed with realizations of his awesomeness but I won't remember his first word or when he took his first step, because I thought those were the things I'd always remember. It turns out that what I do remember are the things I did. The times I was unfair with a punishment. The times I told him to hurry up when he was trying to admire a rainbow on the wall. And yes, some good things too-the time I took the time to let him figure something out for himself instead of helping him or rushing him. The times I surprised him (before he started hating surprises), the time I let him believe he taught a little bird how to fly. Maybe I should have done a book of my milestones instead. "I let my son brush his teeth without criticizing him today. It was a good day."
Sigh. He really is amazing. I'm just too close to really appreciate it. It's the curse of parenthood, I guess.
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Date: 2013-04-26 05:51 pm (UTC)2. I'm sorry for how frustrating it gets sometimes! Even really great kids still go through all those horrible awkward hair-pulling phases, and there's so little support out there, people act like parents just have to have some kind of twenty-four/seven Super Perfect Love for their children and that will just magically sustain you when they go through the Terrible Twos until they're like, eight, and then just when they seem sweet again puberty settles in and they're sullen for the next six years and you don't start really liking them as people until you meet them for lunch one day when they're in their early twenties. :P
Well okay that's a ridiculous exaggeration but anyway parenthood has a lot of pressure attached, both inner and outer, and it's HARD. Most people still find it worth it and it sounds like you do too, but ugh, you're responsible for a whole other life, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to cut yourself some slack for being afraid you might cock it up. In fact I'm pretty sure it's the only way to stay sane. ;)
Deep breaths. You're doing good. And also, nobody asks to see their baby book unless you're looking through their sibling's.
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Date: 2013-04-28 01:39 am (UTC)You sound like you're doing a wonderful job with him and you sound like a great mom. If people are telling you that you're doing something right, then it's likely true. ;)
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Date: 2013-04-28 01:46 am (UTC)Thanks :) My son has pointed out my faults and he's right. Sometimes I'd rather tune him out and play a game on my phone and he notices and I feel terrible.